Ray Of Hope For Azalea

• Sidewalk friend - the kind you don't really trust and would treat as someone who you just say Hi! to and then walk away.
• Coffee shop friend - the kind that you would chat on daily work routines and what's the latest news in the world, which artist is seeing each other, what's the latest movie and stuff like that but not on your personal life.
• House invited friend - the kind you will invite to your house and treat them as a family. You can sit down with them to listen discuss on personal matters but to a certain extend.
• Sharing the same pillow friend - This is the highest level of friendship whereby your tell almost everything to this person, things you will never tell your family. They are your soulmates and you understand each other perfectly. (It could be your spouse)

I am not the kind of person to categorized my friends: you are either my best friends, or just my friends or a total stranger. If you and I were strangers, when we say Hi! to each other, you can become my friend. It is that simple. I believe I don't have any enemy, I hate it when other people have negative thoughts on me or talk behind my back. Not that I can control them, anyway but as long as you don't offend me, I will not find you offensive. That is how it has always been and I like it that way.

I have been upset these last few days. Been hearing some NOT-SO-GOOD stories about me lately. It seems that one of my colleague (or more than one, i seriously don't know) has been suspecting me of being a two faced. Being nice to them in front of their faces but tell stories about them to our superior behind their back.

I was shocked when I heard about this. Especially when these people are those I consider as quite dear friends and always pleasant to talk to. The kinds I thought would never have double thoughts on me what more accused me of something so awful and untruthful. I've done nothing except extending my friendship and yet this is happening, I just can't believe these people would dare to accused me behind my back instead of confronting me! What more when it is all LIES ! LIES! and came out of nowhere. Just based on an assumption that was 100% wrong.

Even when my other friend has already clear the air for me, saying that I wasn't the backstabber or "spy" they should be worried about, the damage has already been done.

I can forgive them if they shouted at me for no reason, make offensive jokes, wasted my time by telling outrageous stories, take my belongings without my permission or even treat my stuff as if they were theirs BUT when they acted like they are my friend, pretending to care for me but behind me they treat me as a backstabber, I find that unforgivable and no matter what they did to amend the mistakes, my perception towards them will never be the same. They can't just say sorry and pretend everything is back to normal when it is not. Kata orang; terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata binasa la jawabnya. You might say that I overreact but if the same thing happens to you, how would you cope? What would you do? Don't you agree that the betrayal of a friend is the worst thing that can happen ? By having double thoughts on me, surely that is a betrayal from that person.

Once the package of friendship is opened, it can never be closed. When I first opened their packages, there were perfect apples in them, only to find the rotten maggots lying underneath it.

I am sorry if I offended anyone with this posting. I just want to get this load off my chest. At least I will not think about it too much. There are other fishes in the sea, as to they are other friends in the world. We just have to find the right one. Once in a while we might stumble across people like this, they are not even worthy as my uncle used to say, as a SideWalk Friend.