I Am Constipated
- not enough fiber in the diet ( i take vege often, cannot be)
- not enough liquids (ermm, i'm practically bloated from all the water i consume)
- lack of exercise ( once a while go gym not enuff aa?)
- medications (i'm not on any medication)
- irritable bowel syndrome (i don't have IBS, i think so)
- changes in life or routine such as pregnancy, older age, and travel (pregnancy? ermm unlikely; older age ? hey, I'm only 27 err going 28; travel? hardly)
- abuse of laxatives (hardly take them except Teh Orang Kampung once in a while)
- ignoring the urge to have a bowel movement (haiyaa? can ignore meh when nature calls?)
- specific diseases such as stroke (very unlikely)
- problems with the colon and rectum (so far my colon and rectum are A-OK)
- problems with intestinal function (chronic idiopathic constipation) (hope not. that sounds chronic)
You know, Constipation can really make you feel sluggish, tired and bloated. Somehow it made me agitated too..Now I dragged my feet out of the bed every morning. It felt like I only slept for 1 hour when I have slept for 6 hours. Can relate this to constipation aaa?
*sigh. Hope this condition well get better soon. I'll be okay when all the toxin in my tummy is flushed out. Don't ask me to go see any gomen specialist. I haven't even gotten my blood test results from the previous pharyngitis infection. If it was a chronic infection, I would have been a goner by now.
If things aren't getting better, maybe I'll take laxative like Brooklax or something. But for the time being, I'll just have to "hang-on" with it. Get what I mean? Here's some joke to cheer up everybody and also my constipated tummy. Hopefully it finds the joke so sick, and will give way for a "passing motion" session. Ha ha.
1.Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. (Eeeww..)
2.Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? 'Cause they don't give a crap! (Crappy, huh?)
3. A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags!" (That's a good one, especially to those who pratice wiping instead of washing)
4.Did you hear about the new movie ''Constipation?'' It hasn't come out yet (Ha ha..stuck somewhere?)
5."Constipation is the thief of time but Diarrhoea waits for no man! (Whose line was it, anway?)
6.Woman - ‘My husband has alcoholic constipation’
Friend - ‘What sort of medical complaint is that?’
Woman - ‘He can’t pass a pub’
(I guess women like us has "window shopping constipation" - we can't pass a mall..ahahha)
7.A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm going to give you some suppositories. I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you another one for later this evening."
Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository. She agrees reluctantly, then puts one hand on his shoulder and inserts the suppository.
Suddenly, her husband shrieks, "Aahhhhh!" "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asks. "No... I just realised that the doctor had *both* his hands on my shoulders!" (The doc's a freak..ewww)
That's all folks. Hope you're not too disgusted by the jokes. Take Care.
best regards, nice info
»
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