Ray Of Hope For Azalea

Iyaad's Birthday Bash

2007-07-18T13:49:00.000+08:00

So, the event went well, Alhamdulillah. My house has been officially warmed and Iyaad's 1st birthday bash went smoothly.

We would like to thank everyone for the shower of lovely housewarming & birthday gifts and most importantly for being there to share the special day with us. We feel very honoured and touched that it was a huge turn-ups.

Thank you for taking the time and also would like to apologise for any misdirections that might lead to some friends getting lost on the way to the house. But glad that everyone managed to arrive.

Would also like to thank friends who can't make it to kenduri but still sent their love and gifts.

Thank you all. May ALLAH Bless you with a life full of prosperity and happiness. InsyaALLAH.

Btw, bapak pengantin nya yang pakai baju melayu cream kat belakang tu. Iyaad was being held by his uncle (my husband's brother)

Happy 1st Birthday Amirul Iyaad!

2007-07-11T14:10:00.000+08:00

Amirul Iyaad is 1 year old!

At 1, Iyaad can :

1. Speak simple words like "mama", "yah"(ayah),"mamam"(makan), "bukak"(buka), "dap,dap"(sedap)
2. Likes to pucker his lips when he saw something that amazes him and said "ooh ooh"
3. Can stand on his own for 10 seconds, walk by holding on to things but yet to take his first unaided step.(soon I hope!)
4. Has managed to climb the house stair case (up all the flights), with one bottle of bedak in his hand!
5. Loves to eat Calci-Yum!
6. Likes to remove the remote control battery
7. Will cry (crocodile tears actually) when we refuse to give him the things he wanted
8. Sleeps soundly through the nite, never wakes up for his feedings (due to the extreme activities of playing & rolling around in the day)
9.Likes to eat nasi lemak
10. Has 4 front teeth (2 up & 2 bottom)

Just a note

2007-06-26T12:35:00.000+08:00

I have not been updating my blog for ages. Being busy will be the easiest and most "safe" reason. But the truth is i find myself not committing to blogging. I love to read others though, especially dear friends of mine. To me, it is a way of keeping in touch. And to keep myself updated with their latest activities. Or their latest opinion. I just don't feel like picking up the phone or smsing them. It is not justified, I know but working life can really make you succumb in your own cocoon at the end of a hectic work's day.Feel like curling up like a ball and sleep throughout the night and not wanting to wake up the next day to repeat your routine work..like how do these people work for 30 years ++ when i am struggling entering my 8th year of working?

A lot has happened and a lot is still happening while i was quiet from blogging. We are moving office again due to the realignment. I will most likely be in Menara TM and doing new job functions, and ya, along with the promotion with bigger responsibilities. It's good to be acknowledged, it is what i have wanted all this while, but when i have it, why do i feel like i don't really want it?

I don't want to do anything right now except curl up next to my son. Or maybe I'm just a lazy bum. Btw, Iyaad is turning 1 soon and he is such a bundle of joy to watch. Only if i can spend more time with him. But unless you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth, take off your lazy bum off the floor and go to work!

I missed my friends dearly. Most of all i missed the moments spent together. My childhood friends, my kindergarten friends, my mengaji friends, my padang friends, my school mates, my tuisyen mates, my U mates. I missed laughing out loud until tears ran down our cheeks, I missed all the silly gestures, facial expression and jokes we passed around and we laughed..and laughed...and laughed..until we felt our chest were bursting. I can't remember the last time that i've laughed out loud. Frankly, I hardly laughed nowadays. That's what working does to you. Takes your sense of humour away and put in the stress, strain, the neverending tasks....and give extra on the migrain and gastric department. Not to mentioned giving the sedentary life that is so deskbounded and unhealthy.

I am such a sore and lousy friend. Hard to swallow but i admit that. I hardly keep in touch, never call or pay them visits. All i do is just think of them and wondering how they are, and what they are doing at the moment. And if they still remember me. How are they to know they are dearly missed? Unless we share ESP or something, then prolly they will think of me when my thoughts called to them. And how i subconciously will type their name in Google or Yahoo in hoping it will land on some info bout them. Or maybe a fotopage if i'm lucky.

I am feeling dreary and miserable. Probably because i'm still recuperating from my fever and the stupid pay is not in yet, when there's a lot of neccessities to buy.....

One more reason to resign :)

2007-03-15T12:09:00.000+08:00

That explains why I'm Fat too..hahaha

Tercipta Untukku :)

2007-03-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu

Ayah & Iyaad, Luv U Both To Bitss :)

Mama on a Mission

2007-02-23T10:28:00.001+08:00

Wanna know something? My mama is on a mission....he he

The Long Wait Has Ended

2007-01-25T18:39:00.001+08:00

My PC is corrupted again. This is the 2nd time this happens. Only this time it is not my fault and it is harder coz the OA guys are no longer around to reformat them. So, I gotta call the Helpdesk or log the problem online. Which I did the latter. The guy did come to check and told me to send the CPU over to TTDI. On my own. Blurrghh... not exactly what I want to do.

The next day coming back from a meeting, I noticed a delivery order on the table. From DELL.with laptop specs...hmm then there were two boxes under the table. Can it be that my request for a laptop has been answered? After 3 long years of waiting, with my name missing from the list, is it finally here? I opened the box..and there it was, the long awaited laptop...yeyyyy...and with a perfect timing with my PC now R&D ing(rest & die).

Keeps my motivation up a bit. But I don't know for how long. Hopefully long enough until somebody responded to my "calling".

What's With The Birthday Cake??

2007-01-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

If I had a 5 year old daughter, I'm sure she wouldn't want this as her birthday cake. So what's with a 28-year-old-titled-married to a titled man-rich-famous woman wants this cake for her birthday?

Forgive Me For I'm Merely Human

2006-12-27T12:33:00.000+08:00

Life has been a mix of everything these past 2 weeks. Work is still pouring in although it's almost year-end. There's a lot of things that has been happening around me that makes me stop and wonder about myself. It's funny why some people regard year-ends as the time to sit back and relax when time doesn't seem to be on our side. Do you really have the time to enjoy every minute of life when there's people above you chasing your deadlines like mad, 24 hours round the clock only for them to have that vacation leisure? Is there a way for you to escape this never ending harassing and for once has the essence of time for you to dictate and take control of?

It will not stop I tell you. Not until you close your eyes forever. But do you know when that time will come when the angel of death is at your doorstep? Or when your life "leaf" has fallen to the ground from the mighty tree and counting 100 days when you will leave this Earth? Are there any signs of demise before somebody actually passed on to afterlife? What do you tell Malaikat Izrail when he is already there to take your soul? Wait se-minit, I have a proposal paper I have to complete?

Some old folks said you can sense when a person is about to die from their face; among them their nose and ears will start to wither, their eyes will become dull and the face pale. But if you're busy chasing after the to-be-deceased-person's work and assignments to be done, will you stop and look for these signs? *sigh. Of course not. Because we never expect our colleagues to passed on so early in their life or we never think such thoughts. Only to have regrets later because of the words unsaid to them once they're gone.

It's terrible isn't it? If only we knew when death is approaching, we would have seek amends from the person who is permanently leaving us. To seek forgiveness from them for any of our wrongdoings. To hold their warm hands one last time before they turned cold. To smile at them and have that smile return. To talk to them on the precious things they love most so that we can remember them by the things they treasure most. To look them in their eyes and sincerely ask them how they were doing instead of asking about work 24/7. Alas, as human we can never know such moments. That is why GOD tells us to be good to others and seek truce. Never hold any grudges with each other because we will never know when one of us will die.

The news of her death came as a shock to me. I got to know about it early that Friday morning and I shook it off in disbelief, thinking that probably I was dreaming or something. But when I saw her on the mortuary table, that's when the tears started coming. She was an active, healthy, 27 year old young lady and now she is gone. Just a few days back we were discussing on work and how we're going to work together to make a project successful this coming January 07. But January 07 never came for her. She has to move on leaving behind her beloved son and husband to go on living without her. My heart ached knowing her son Danny will never see his mom again. And for a child of 3 years old, death is something he will not understand. What will his daddy tell him when he constantly cries out for his mom? I pray to ALLAH to bless her soul and lay her to rest among the para mukminin. InsyaALLAH. Only sepotong surah Al-Fatihah and Yaasin yang dapat disedekahkan mengiringi pemergianmu buat kali terakhir. Sesungguhnya Dunia hanyalah sementara, Akhirat jua yang kekal selamanya. Yusrina Dear, you will always be remembered as a good friend to many of us. You have no wrongdoings to me and I hold nothing against you. Thank you for being a good friend. I seek forgiveness for any wrongdoings in the past and semoga rohmu tenang di sampingNya.

Tomorrow still comes for the rest of us to tell our family how much we love them. To kiss and hold our beloved child in our arms and hold them close to our heart. To smell the sweet scent of our baby's skin and the sparkle in their eyes. To hear their laughter and cry again and again. To wake up in the morning and see the faces of our loved ones lying next to us. To know that you have been granted another day to live and breathe.

Make the best of the coming days for we never know when time is up for us. There's been buzzing of excitement in the office about upgrading and stuffs. I wasn't part of the excitement. But then I asked myself, should I be upset about it? What is my main priority? Will people be asking me as I lay dead whether I have received my upgrading or be promoted? Will they be asking me how much my salary was before I die? How many successful promotions I've completed? Or will they be asking me WHO are the LOVED ONES i'm leaving behind? So, I have to learn to set my PRIORITIES in life. It hurts not to be acknowledged, for I am merely human but I know there's a lot of things in life I should be thankful about. Thankful and grateful to ALLAH for the family he has granted me, my parents, siblings, my husband, my beautiful son which I have been waiting for 3 years and yes all my friends. And for all of these, I know I have been rewarded with a good and complete life. I will cherish and make more time for them.

To all of my friends out there,

If there has been any time or situation that i have ever offended you, I am truly sorry and seek forgiveness from all of you. I might have unintentionally caused any of you discomfort or hurt your feelings. For all of these please accept my sincere apology for I am merely human.....

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hug them tight.

Let them know you love them
Morning, noon, and night.

Put your arms around them,
Hold them near to you,
Feel the beating of their hearts,
The life that you made new.

Roll around the floor with them,
Tease and laugh and play.
Listen to what they'll tell you,
They have so much to say.

Take time to get to know them,
See the colors in their eyes.
Appreciate that person
That deep inside them lies

Let them run their fingers through
your hair and down your face.
Fill their hearts with words of praise.
Make home their favorite place.

Cuddle with them on the couch
And watch a t.v. show.
Sing with them or share a book,
And help their world to grow.

Take a walk into the park,
Hold each other's hand,
Build castles in the sand.

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hug them tight.
Show them what a gift they are.
To love them feels so right.

~Author: Kathie Davis~

If Tomorrow Never Comes

2006-11-09T09:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch him sleeping
He's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would he ever doubt the way I feel
About him in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face the world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much he means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell him how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will he know how much I loved him
Did I try in every way to show him every day
That he's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And he must face the world without me
Is the love I gave him in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

It is really meaningful

2006-09-12T12:03:00.000+08:00

to celebrate our 3rd Anniversary (6/9) and my birthday (10/9) this year with the arrival of Iyaad. Iyaad and ayah make Mama's life complete *muahs* , well of course having more money wouldn't hurt either..eheh.
We didn't go anywhere to celebrate, just the 3 of us at home, enjoying quiet moments together (with Iyaad crying now & then). Aqus bought Me a dozen roses and my favourite perfume..thank you Ayah :) while my Iyaad gave me a big grin in the morning...that's one of the most precious gift ever, besides he himself is the priceless gift from God.

He is already 2 months plus now and we're learning bout each other more everyday. About things that he likes and dislikes. He loves taking his bath :) I've started putting rubber ducks in his bath basin although he doesn't know how to play with them yet. He's starting to communicate with his baby talks and learning to turn over. He doesn't like to be left alone, he'll be looking around the room if he couldn't see you or when the room is suddenly quiet. He seems to be more attentive nowadays and he likes watching TV..it's no wonder since Mama was a TV junkie when i was carrying him.

Took him for his 2 months jab, got his weight taken. He's already 5.6kg at 2 months and 10 days old..eheh anak mama kuat minum susu. All in all, so far it's not difficult to take care of him especially throughout the day because he would be sleeping most of the time but he tends to stay awake at nite and of course that means Mama and Ayah has to miss our beauty sleep as well,...I'm talking about LOOTSSS of it.......Nevertheless, we love you dear :)

Say hi to my new arrival

2006-07-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

I promised to come back to the blogging world one day and i guess the timing can never be better. Especially when i'll have new things to write about with the arrival of my son...seriously one of the reason i stopped blogging was my ideas were running dry. Now with the new arrival of my baby boy, there will be lots of things to blog about, questions to ask and concerns to share especially with the more-experienced mommies out there. I didn't share my pregnancy experience in my blog because I wanted to wait for my baby's arrival and I've had 2 failed pregnancies, so I was kinda afraid to share something that I am not certain of. But now that he is here, there'll be lotsa things to write about!!

My baby boy Amirul Iyaad bin Khairur Fakhruz was born on 03.07.06 (7 Jamadilakhir), weighing in at 3.07kg at 5.59pm in Pantai Medical Centre. He was delivered through caesarean and was 4 days early from his due date. Amirul in Arab means "Leader to" and Iyaad means "Generous".

I was hoping for a normal delivery but until late hours my baby has still not engaged. My gynae wanted to induce me and hoping that i can go normal but after hearing so experiences from mothers with past experiences with caesar and induction, they all urged me to go for caesar straight and skip the induce part because there's no guarantee that the baby will engage even after being induced. Even my gynae said the chances was 50% only. I trusted my instinct to go with c-section. Somehow with my previous histories on miscarriage and molar pregnancy, I wasn't going to take any risk. The most important thing is that the baby is fine. My gynae finally agreed after seeing that my contraction was almost none and I have not dilated as well.

So, i finally went with a half-body anaesthetic c-section. I was nervous but was thankful that Aqus was there to accompany me throughout the operation. Turns out that the umbilical cord was tied around my baby's ankle, the reason why he couldn't engaged. If i were to be induced, it would only be painful and i would have ended up with a c-section as well. Doctor's should listen to mom's instinct :)

Amirul Iyaad was born healthy and fine and the first thing he did once the dr pulled him out of my womb was opened his eyes and looked at me! All my 9 months of worrying up until I was on that OT table was washed away when I saw how perfect he was..... all those pregnancy days when I woke up at night wondering will my baby be ok? will he be healthy, will he be fine? I am thankful, syukur alhamdulillah that he's fine and sempurna sifat...so grateful to Allah for blessing us with this child.
He scored 8/10 on his Apgar ... losing the 2 points because he didn't cry out too loud and he looked a little blue when they got him out. But those are quite normal. We were supposed to be discharged on Wednesday but Iyaad has jaundice so we stayed until Saturday until he has recovered.

I will be on confinement until 31/8, this will be a great time to get to know my son. I am staying at my mom's in Kelana Jaya.No doubt entering motherhood I've a lot of uncertainties and feel so "kekok" handling such a fragile human being (not to mention waking up at odd hours late at night), but this period will be a good time for me to brush up my skills as a mother.

To all my frens, thank you for your doa and prayers. For hoping the best for me and wishing me all the good things throughout my pregnancy until the delivery of my baby. You will see more of me in here from today onwards!

Helloo Everyone!!

2006-03-17T17:24:00.000+08:00

Noticed this new posting? And the new template? Am I coming back to the blogging world? Just waaaiitttt.....

The Incubation of a Blog

2005-10-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

Hereby I would like to announce that this blog is temporarily closed. Reason being is that my work has taken a lot of my time and another reason is i'm having a blog-out-of-idea syndrome. Worry not, you haven't seen the last of me. I will continue reading all my fellow bloggers and doing my usual commenting.

Maybe when something really good happens in my life, I will start blogging again. Until then, keep my blog at the back of your mind, it will emerge again someday :)

What Happened to Our Server?

2005-09-14T08:31:00.000+08:00

I was browsing the Tokei Kedai website when I found this article. Since this article has been posted in that site for quite some time, lemme share it with you

Server TMnet Jadi Pusat Sumber Warez,Mp3 dan Bahan Lucah ?

Posted on: May 05, 2005 - 02:08 AM by SpyKedai

Apa Khabar adik-adik,masih ingat kat uncle SpyKedai ? Dulu ruangan uncle memang terhangat di pasaran dengan cerita-cerita panazzzz dan sensasi terutama mengenai isu moral tapi selepas pihak Tokeikedai Online tidak lagi menyambung kontrak uncle maka uncle pun angkat keyboard seketika (kononnya la).But kali ni uncle kembali memanaskan portal Tokeikedai ini dengan isu-isu yang uncle pikir boleh membuka minda dan memberi kesedaran kepada semua anak bangsa.Uncle tak jamin sekerap mana dapat menulis di ruangan ini kerana banyak komitmen lain yang uncle terpaksa buat sekarang,maklumlah dulu bujang sekarang anak dua (baru)...hahahaha.

OK,Kembali kepada topik asal kita,kali ini uncle nak ulas mengenai server TMnet yang menjadi lubuk atau syurga membeban turun (ewah..pakai istilah melayu..ahakz) pelbagai fail-fail warez,mp3 dan juga bahan-bahan lucah.Uncle tak pasti sejak bila TMnet membuka servernya kepada umum dengan memberi kebenaran pengguna menyimpan (upload) fail-fail dari komputer peribadi mereka menggunakan laluan FTP dan berkongsi dengan pengguna-pengguna lain yang dapat mendownload sesuka hati dan sepuasnya (maklumlah Broadband katakan...ahakz ).

Nampaknya server ini tidak di pantau atau di kawal selia malah boleh di katakan di biarkan begitu saja,kalau tidak masakan berlaku perlambakan fail-fail yang tidak sepatutnya di dalam server ini.Ke mana admin server ? tidur atau tumpang seronot mendownload sama ? . Di Harap pihak pengurusan atasan TMNET mengambil serius tentang perkara ini bagi mengelakkan penyalahgunaan berlaku.

Bagi mengelakkan korang semua serbu server ni untuk download ,uncle tak bagi url server ni tapi bagi yang tau pasal internet terutama menggunakan laluan FTP pandai-pandai lah korang.Dari larang baik suruh kata orang-orang tua dah benda ada depan mata.isk isk isk....

Actually, we have been addressed this issue before whereby the bosses have received complains on X-rated stuff on this server of ours. However, the people in charge were aware of it at that time and blocked the access to the server.They did ,mention that they monitor the server. The server is open for customers to place their stuff. That was like 3 months ago, I checked the server again this morning, it's opened again, there's a mighty lot of junk there, which I stumbled upon one or two explicit stuff. It seems the activity is still on in there.

It's a shame sometimes when we are educating people on stuff like this when the fact is we're having a server for this!! Goes back to the question Uncle SpyKedai was asking "Are they really monitoring or are they asleep?" Something should be done one this, takkan nak keep reminding them on doing their job properly?

Birth Order Predictor

2005-09-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely a First Born (nope!)

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.At work and school, you do best when you're researching.When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2005-09-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: September 10

Your birth on the 10th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life. The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than you path may have indicated.A birthday on the 10th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.
This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed. You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations..

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What I Got for My Birthday

2005-09-12T08:15:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I bought a book for myself, and my last visit to MPH has gotten me excited, looking at the new bestsellers and all (it has been ages since I've been there). Too bad I was runing low on cash, don't mention about credit card, those are hopeless either. I've been passionate on reading since I was small, but didn't really get to read much after I got married and further more I was into doing "hantaran", "bunga telur" and stuff like that.

So, when I got 4 novels on my birthday, I was so happy!! Somehow, Aqus knew I wanted books..hehe (of course he would after my ranting and complaining about not having money to buy them,). These are the books he bought for me :

He's been noticing I've got mostly Sidney Sheldon's, so he bought the latest two as well as Dan Brown's 2 latest novels. I haven't started burying myself into them but looking forward to it today. So, there it was, a simple yet meaningful birthday present.

Thanks dear for the wonderful books, by the way where are the flowers? Eheheheh.....

Thanx bunches to all my friends for the birthday wishes and SMS' !

I am 28 !!

2005-09-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to ME, Happy Birthday to ME, Happy Birthday to ILA AZALEA, Happy Birthday to ME!!! HEHEHEH ...WAAAHH SERONOKNYAAA !!!!!

You're Going to Drop Over and Sleep

2005-09-08T14:02:00.000+08:00

I got tagged by Caza. Here goes all my nothing much to talk about 28 years of life + 10 more years to come!

20 years ago: 1985 (I was 8)
I was in Standard 2. Same school with Miss Caza, SRK (1) Kelana Jaya, in 2 Langsat! Although during that time I hardly saw her in school but we saw each other in the afternoon, after school during ‘mengaji’ classes then it’s rounders (kinda like softball?) time in the padang. Gosh, I remember those days we were playing rounders with the guys. Either that or kunda kundi, galah panjang and lompat getah. It’s very different from now where kids spend time indoor playing video games. My routine was packed outdoor from morning until around 7pm when I returned all sweaty and dirt-smelly. I remembered being very close to my elder brother since we were only 1 year apart. I will always follow him wherever he went. We practically grew up close together. That’s how we ended up playing with the guys, not to mention having the tennis ball slammed on your back when you got “CHOP!”. I wasn’t really smart in school in fact I was never really into studying, I was a slow learner. What I liked most in class was drawing and singing, yes singing was my passion. Can’t wait for assembly when I sang my heart out.

10 years ago: 1995 (I was 18)
After SPM, I didn’t really get to spend my time at home since all the MRSM students got shipped to different English courses. Mine was in IKIP 3 Pahang, near to the beach. I love that place! We would be running along the beaches in the afternoon after attending the English classes in the morning. I was always be the last person hehe.. nevertheless it was fun. Still remembered those wonderful times especially when you get to meet so many new friends (they were around 400 students there) and I loved my classmates, I was in Cambridge class (they named every class with all the universities in UK). My memories never wondered far from the first huge , not-meant-to be crush I had in MRSM but it was during this English course that I learnt what it felt like to like somebody and to have that feeling returned. Too bad it didn’t last long, we both went separate ways after that. When I received my SPM results which was okay, although I could have done better in Add Maths & Physics (oh well, screw ‘em) I was actually quite satisfied. Wanna know why? Because my ambition is to be a lawyer! So I aimed to score for History, English and B. Melayu of which I did well. I remembered filling in the UPU form, making my top 3 choices as Law Matriculation, but had to change them since my parents insisted me to further in Science. I hated going to Science Matriculation. Bluuurgghh boring.

5 years ago: 2000 (I was 23)
At this point of time, I was still trying to find a good job after graduating in 99. The economy was bad, so I couldn’t be too picky on finding a job. The government and private companies shut their doors to employment. Luckily, I landed a job as a contract staff with TM Multimedia (now known as TM Net), and after 7 months of trying to prove myself, I got in as a permanent executive. I was ecstatic at that time because finally after 1.5 year of trying to find a job, Alhamdulillah, my wish was granted. Still I was single and wondering whether I will meet someone special.

3 years ago: 2002 (I was 25)
This would be one of the most memorable year of my life because I was (still am!) deeply in love with my hubby (my boyfriend then), work was okay, have started to get stressed from too much of events & exhibitions. Then one fine night in September, my boyfriend was proposing for us to get engaged. I remembered how uncertain he sounded and how shaky his voice was, but since his parents wanted us to take one step closer to marriage, we got engaged on October 13. Things were going great that year.

This year: 2005 (I am 28)
This year we celebrated our 2nd Anniversary on 6th September and I will be 28 in 2 days to come. I have been through a lot this year and last year. Too many tears and pain from losing babies and feeling like the hope is gone. However, I am blessed because my husband is always there to support me and share the sadness and pain, the emptiness feeling inside. He teaches me a lot on being strong and not losing hope. Hope lies in the heart of those who believes, and as long as he believes, I will keep hanging on to him to be my pillar of strength.

Next year: 2006 (I will be 29)
I plan to conceive again, and we will be moving into our new house in Prima Tropika. I foresee myself in a different company, maybe? And I want to develop myself to be a better wife and master myself in cooking. Probably I would further my Masters.We’ll see how things goes.

10 years from now: 2015 ( I will be 38)
I will be having 4 kids by now most probably aged 9, 7,5 and 3. 2 boys and 2 girls, yep. The family would definitely be a noisy one with the kids running around. I will be starting my own business on handicrafts, gifts, hampers and flower arrangements so I will have more time to spend with my children and yes, my beloved husband. We would probably still be here in Selangor. I will be opening my business from 8am to 6pm only and spend time after that cooking and attending to the kids. We’ll do activities together during the weekends, probably going for movies, bowling or simply spending quiet moments together. Hmmm…too good to be true ….

I am tagging : Along, Aapitz and Selina!!

Happy 2nd Anniversary

2005-09-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

Buat aqus dan ila

( sebuah kisah cinta untuk kamu berdua )

tika angin rindu melambai mesra
ku lihat dari redup matamu berbayang suka
dengan senyuman seindah mutiara
di jarimu cincin indah bersarung jelita

the early moments of light
brought hope to today’s happiness
there’s a promise made…and a vow honored
as you stared your precious
with your eyes and your soul

there’s a beauty
stealing your heart in a single blink
throwing away your sorrows
through the serenity of seconds

dan dengan ikatan di jari, hati hati itu bersatu
seindah mimpi dan harapan hari hari dulu
sebuah kehidupan indah,

pasti menjadi reality dengan berkat kesabaran
keikhlasan serta merendah diri

usah lagi dibiarkan mata itu menangis
jangan lagi dibiarkan hati itu berdarah
be strong passing through the test of time
not only with love but also trust and honor

dan ingatlah
andai ada duka yang bakal ditempuhi nanti
adalah ujian untuk kita menghargai
kehidupan yang dipinjamkan ini
yang mana bila tiba masanya kelak
kita harus kembali kepada-NYA

demi hati yang bertuluskan ikhlas
untuk hati yang berkasihkan abadi

(this poem was written and beautifully framed by my dearest friend Caza

It is one of my most treasured wedding gift, thank you Caza, for the lovely gift. It always worked to cool me down during clashes to remember how i felt on that special day :D )

Back After The Silence

2005-08-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

Hello …hello anybody there? Azalea is back in the house. Been gone for 3 weeks. Did anyone missed me? I doubt it…hehe anyway I have been keeping quiet most of the time either coz I was busy or I just don’t feel like writing. Despite that, I still read my friends blogs so I know mostly on what they are up to.

The main reason why I haven’t been blogging is because my blog has gone nuts. Whenever I want to create a new post, I can’t do any settings. The text box is there alright, but the tools on top of the text box are gone. So, basically I cannot amend my font type, sizes and colours, left alone to upload photo. So, at this moment, I’m trying to upload through Blogger in Microsoft Words.. Hmm.. if you see my postings, you’ll know it turned out ok. Not that ok.. the fonts are all in black..never mind la, as long as people can read.

All in all, it has been quite a hectic 3 weeks, besides the work, here’s my update in the simplest form:

My PC turned out ok. It was a virus but all my files and e-mails are there and I’m not complaining anymore. Remind me not to be itchy hands anymore. Next time, I might not be so lucky

one of my best colleague has left TM Net . I am sad coz he’s one of the best people I have worked with but I am also happy that he’s going to a better company that hopefully will realize the talented and hardworking guy that he is

I attended a two days course on marketing skills for non-marketing executive. Pretty helpful to brush up my marketing skills? What? Marketing skills? You are a chemist graduate!! Haha

Ya. One more thing. I got trapped in the lift once last week.Alone. Stupid KPV lift. But pretty cool experience. Wouldn’t want to go through it again. Blurrgghh luckily I was not in urgency to go to the toilet.

See you guys some other time. Chow!!!!!!!!!

Blame It On The Itchy Hands

2005-08-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

It all started with a weird pop-up that kept appearing when I opened a window or program. At first, I thought it was nothing until more pop-ups started to appear. Somehow got me distracted. So, what I did was to install the pop-up blocker. Didn't work, since pop-up blocker only works when you open the internet explorer or netscape with pop-ups. This pop-up seems to be in my PC.

Ok, fine. Let's try another way.

Undeterred, I cleaned all my temporary internet files , temp files and history. Still the pop-ups keep coming. Being the high flier, genius, one-of-a-kind whiz kid, instead of calling the OA guys to check on what's wrong, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

New ways to kill off stubborn pop-ups:

1. Go to start
2. Move your cursor to settings and click control panel
3. In control panel, find the "add/ remove programs" icon
4. Double click the "add/remove programs" icon
5. Scan through the currently installed program
6. Choose program that you find suspicious or shouldn't be there and click "remove"
7. Wait until the uninstallation process is complete
8. Click "Yes" to re-start your PC
9. After restarting your PC, you will notice that your screen has turned completely BLUE
10. Whoopssss!! You uninstalled the wrong program. Too late! Your PC just stayed BLUE. Wouldn't even show your desktop with the pretty flower wallpaper
11. Now sensing that you messed up, call the OA guys to come and reformat your PC
12. Congratulations . Now you have to wait at least 3 days for your PC to be cured. If you're lucky, your files are still retrievable. But in most cases they are not.

Hey, it is not my fault I'm so brainy, I'm born with it :P . *sigh* Served me right. And to think that it started with a stupid pop-up.

Now I have to float around finding unoccupied PC's to do my work and also to blog. Currently, my manager is away, so I got to use hers. Hopefully I won't wreck her PC. That will be super duper brilliant.

What is a 710?

2005-07-29T08:09:00.000+08:00

A story to share

This doesn't mean all women are stupid (some men too!) when it comes to cars....
But there always some exceptions.
Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer.
A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked,"What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."
The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked,"Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Now scroll down to learn what a 710 is.........

Latest Ladies Kitchen Accessory

2005-07-26T17:26:00.000+08:00

At this time I probably won't be needing this. Care to buy, anyone? Kinda cool huh? The knife block.

tmnet streamyx Free Modem Promotion

2005-07-26T13:17:00.000+08:00

Subscribe Now!!

Salasilah Keluarga Ayah Pin

2005-07-25T10:02:00.000+08:00

With Regards to Along's post on Ayah Pin, here's the salasilah keluarga Ayah Pin, 4 orang isterinya dan anaknya yang ghamei itu..He He.....

Mencari Cinta Atau Mencari Glamor? (Looking for Love Or Glamour?)

2005-07-22T12:48:00.000+08:00

Excerpted from The Star

TV3’s new relationship-based reality show, Mencari Cinta, is set to attract viewers with its interesting concept, writes SHEELA CHANDRAN.

Does a man’s personality or looks play a vital role when it comes to romance? TV3 is about to find out with its latest reality TV show, Mencari Cinta (Looking for Love), aired on Tuesdays at 9pm on TV3.

The 13-part programme revolves around a young lady in search of the right guy to be her life partner. The series will see nine Malaysians (among them are a legal adviser and a computer analyst) aged between 28 and 35 vying to win her affection.
As for the chosen lady, she’s in her late 20s and works as an executive secretary in Kuala Lumpur. The producers handpicked her after a thorough short-listing process of about six months.
Along the lines of Joe Millionaire, the show will give the lady ample opportunities to get to know more about her suitors during individual and group dates.

MY OPINION

Malaysians are so not ready to adopt the Average Joe or For Love Or Money concept reality show. When it comes to romance and courting, we are still bounded by the traditions and cultures of how "it is supposed to be". Eventhough most couples are no longer subjected to marriage on parental approval and are free to choose their partners, the subject on romance and marriage is still a sensitive issue among Malays and in my opinion, some things are better left as it is to preserve what little culture practice that we have and our identity.

Although it seemed harmless watching For Love Or Money on the guys pursuit over one particular girl, we were also served with scenes that are not suitable especially to adolescents. When they see a local show, it is feared that they will think it is OK to practice intimacy and making out in the public. Hopefully this show is decent enough not to show intimacy moments that are so not suitable especially when we are in the midst of containing social problems among teenagers. This show will definitely help in that matter.In making in tougher.

Malay girls have always been portrayed as shy, well-mannered, soft-spoken and still rich with their culture roots, (although that is almost untrue to some girls nowadays), I do not agree with the concept of a bunch of guys chasing and fighting over one girl. Yes, of course the family factor is being stressed in this show but still the concept is unacceptable here.

GOD forbids, next time they will do a show where a bunch of girls chasing over one guy, like Outback Jack. That will reeeaaally do good in reflecting a Malay girl's attitude and character not only to local but foreigners as well. As though it is not enough with the current perception that local girls "are easy to get".

And please, please change the host of this show will you? The unappropriate words and tone of her voice are enough to make my stomach queasy. Enough of one lady up for grab, now we have a host who wants to steal some light as well. Blurrghghh....

One question : The girl in this show is pretty, comes from a solid family and has a reputable job. If she can't find a good and decent guy out there, what makes her think by narrowing her choices to only 9 guys (one left the show), she can find the perfect guy?? What happens if she didn't?

Other TV reality shows has proven that most final winners will split the money and go different ways after that. Marriage were most unlikely. Then what is the purpose of doing this show? Love or plain glamour? What about your reputation which is at stake?

What's Up Dude?

2005-07-21T07:54:00.000+08:00

The End of A Cat

My sister's cat died this morning. Nyau-nyau as we fondly called him. It was expected actually since he's an old and sick cat. Still when the time comes, the feeling of sadness is there. The cat has been with us for about 4 years. He came to our door out of nowhere, a fluffy cat with bushy tail and wearing a collar with bell. Instantly we knew that the cat belonged to somebody but since nobody claimed him, my sister claimed the cat as hers. He he she's a cat lover. I can't get over being scratched when I was small. Still phobia untill today. But Nyau-Nyau is a real gentle cat. He will keep his paws in whenever we played with him. Never scratched anyone. He changed my perception on cats. Really. Wherever he is now, I hope he will rest in peace. The cat will be missed.

The Backache Terror

I just recovered from a terrible out-of-this-world backache which spread from one end of the waist to the other and up the spine area. I had to take MC on Tuesday coz I can barely sit down. So, I went to the doctor, get myself some painkillers and lie all day in bed. There's a reason behind the backache. I have missed my menses for 3 months. The last one was on 28th April. No, I am not pregnant, just that the period stopped coming. Got an ultrasound scan to confirm it, and I was given pills to force the menses out. The pills were a killer. My period finally came together with the backache, period pain and headache. Luckily the pain is gone now. Remind me never to take those pills again. I am also worried it will caused osteoporosis due to the immense pain. Hope my bone doesn't deteriorate now. Too early. Drink milk? I am lactose intolerant!!

VICKS, my savior

Went to bed with a stuffed nose yesterday.Swallowed Clarityne, Panadols and rubbed some VICKS. Managed to get some sleep. My nose is still stuffed today but I woke up feeling better. So today I will still be dependent on this flu remedy. Hope tomorrow I will feel better. Looking around everybody seems to be down with something. But stuffed nose is ok. Compared to the previous backache, stuffed nose is like a breeze..Aaacchhooo He he.

I Am Not In The Mood

2005-07-14T07:41:00.000+08:00

for anything.

I am not enjoying my life. I am granted 24 hours like everybody else everyday of which :

12 hours i am unhappy (7.30am - 7.30pm) because I will be at work. Yes, I arrive at 7.30am at the office most days now

5 hours of relaxed moments (7.30pm - 12.30am) spending time watching tv, dining or simply lazing around with my husband or getting visits from my family & friends sometimes

6 hours of tranquility (12.30am - 6.30am) is when i go to sleep

1 hour of for performing solat, taking my bath and other stuff

As you can see, 12 hours of my time is spent at work and as you know, i don't enjoy working here anymore. 50% of unhappiness every day is too much of a burden to me now.

Whine, whine away, Azalea, get yourself another job.

Yes, I am really into that now.

Bout time for me to go, following the footsteps of my friends who are resigning.
Perhaps the perfect job is out there for me, somewhere, I just got to find it.

It is ironic that I have been here for 5 years and I am witnessing friends who are here for 3 years or even less than that saying goodbye to us. We're losing 2 more very soon.

The time will come, I'm sure of it when it will be my turn to say goodbye to those who stay or have no choice but to stay.

What will motivate me to stay here? At this moment, nothing anymore.

Perhaps a few months back, some appreciation for the work I've done or how I used to arrive at work by 8.40 am before but now at 7.30am, sitting here alone writing this when no one is around yet.

No, I am not looking for recognition. Just some thoughts and appreciation for this executive of yours who have been here for 5 damn years. And for the fact that I AM the most senior executive here.

That doesn't stop the mocking tone of his voice whenever I was on MC, which is not a common thing I do. Funny how he didn't pick on others on the same issue.

Pray for me my dear friends, pray that I will get a better job, let me win this battle. Maybe then the realization will set in, that I too am important here.

I am tired of living an unhappy life. I have 12 satisfactory hours everyday now, I want to make it a full 24 hours.

He wants to see me at 8.30am this morning. Probably giving more tasks or some nagging in the morning. He's been doing a lot of that lately.

Whatever. It is going to be a long, long day.

Ji....Oh Ji......

2005-07-13T08:02:00.000+08:00

(Dua orang anak beranak sedang menonton TV. Si anak memecah kesunyian)

Ji: Mak, Mimi anak Makcik Kiah sebelah dah pakai tudung.

Mak: Yer? Baguslah macam tu

(Senyap kembali sebelum si anak bersuara lagi)

Ji: Mak...boleh tak Ji pakai tudung?

Mak: Tak boleh.. (cuba buat acuh tak acuh sambil menengok TV)

Ji: Tapi mak, bertudung tu kan tuntutan Islam. Boleh mengelak Ji dari melakukan

maksiat. Kan baik kalau Ji tutup aurat. Boleh lah yer mak?

Mak: Tak boleh! Mak kata tak boleh , tak boleh! Jangan degil!

Ji: (Sambil menangis) Huarrgghh...tolong la mak, izinkan Ji pakai tudung macam si

Mimi tu, nampak cantik dan sopan jerk..boleh la maakkk.....

Mak: Astaga...apa nak jadi dengan kau nie Jiman???!!! Mimi tu pompuan, boleh la

dia pakai tudung, hang tu jantan!! Mana mak nak letak muka nie??? Dah! Mak

kata tak boleh, tak boleh!!

Ji: Ala mak nie, sampai hati...tak kisah la jantan ke pompuan, janji Ji

sukaa ......Aaaauuuuwwww!!

(He he...naluri manusia yang berbeza atau penangan Mawi "World"?)

The Tragedy That Shocked The World

2005-07-08T08:17:00.000+08:00

London Terror Bombings Kill 37, Wound 700
By ROBERT BARR Associated Press Writer

LONDON (AP) -- Terror struck in the heart of London on Thursday as explosions ripped through three subway trains and blasted the roof off a crowded red double-decker bus. At least 37 people were killed and more than 700 wounded in the deadliest attack on the city since the blitz in World War II.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair blamed Islamic extremists and said the bombings were designed to coincide with the opening in Scotland of a G-8 summit of the world's most powerful leaders. Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said the bombings - which came the day after London won the bid to host the 2012 Olympics - have the "hallmarks of an al-Qaida-related attack."
Police said there had been no warning and that the blasts at three subway stations went off within 26 minutes, starting at 8:51 a.m. in an Underground train just outside the financial district. Authorities initially blamed a power surge but realized it was a terror attack after the bus bombing near the British Museum at 9:47 a.m. - less than an hour after the first explosion.
Trapped passengers in the Underground railway threw themselves on the floor, some sobbing. As subway cars quickly filled with smoke, people used their umbrellas to try to break the windows so that they could get air. Passengers emerged from the Underground covered with blood and soot. On the street, in a light rain, buses ferried the wounded, and medics used a hotel as a hospital.

"I didn't hear anything, just a flash of light, people screaming, no thoughts of what it was. I just had to get out of the train," said subway passenger Chris Randall, 28, who was hospitalized with cuts and burns to the face, the legs and hands.
"It was chaos," said Gary Lewis, 32, evacuated from a subway train at King's Cross station. "The one haunting image was someone whose face was totally black (with soot) and pouring with blood."
It was the attack that Britain had long feared, following al-Qaida's Sept. 11, 2001, strikes in New York and Washington and Britain's subsequent alliance with U.S. forces in Afghanistan and Iraq. Thursday's explosions also recalled the March 11, 2004, terrorist bombs that killed 191 people on four commuter trains in Madrid, at a time when Spain was part of the U.S.-led coalition in Iraq.
Police were investigating whether suicide bombers were involved, and said they could not confirm the authenticity of a claim of responsibility from a group calling itself "The Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe." The group said the blasts were in retaliation for Britain's involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan.
AP VIDEO

In Washington, a senior counterterrorism official said the claim is considered "potentially very credible" because it appeared on a Web site that in the past has been used for extremist postings, the message appeared soon after the attacks and doesn't appeared hurried or rushed.
The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the information, also said British authorities identified suspicious packages Thursday and detonated them in controlled explosions. It is not yet clear whether the contents of those packages were dangerous or benign.
The attack on London brought out a steeliness that recalled Britain under the blitz of German bombers in World War II, when many Londoners sought refuge in the Underground, site of Thursday's carnage.
As Wednesday's jubilation at winning the Olympics gave way to the terrible shock of Thursday's attacks, a shaken Blair rushed back to the capital. He then delivered an almost Churchillian appeal for unity, saying in a televised address that it was "a very sad day for the British people, but we will hold true to the British way of life." He praised the "stoicism and resilience of the British people."
Both were in evidence across the city, as volunteers helped the walking wounded from blast sites, commuters lent their phones so strangers could call home and thousands faced long lines for homeward-bound buses or even longer walks without complaint.
"As Brits, we'll carry on - it doesn't scare us at all," said tour guide Michael Cahill, 37. "Look, loads of people are walking down the streets. It's Great Britain - not called 'Great' for nothing."
Security was raised in the United States and around the world. The Bush administration upped the terror alert a notch to code orange for the nation's mass transit systems, and bomb-sniffing dogs and armed police patrolled subways and buses in the capital.
The bombings came as Blair and President Bush met over breakfast in Gleneagles, Scotland, and answered questions from reporters, and before all the leaders were due to begin the summit's general session.
G-8 leaders stood in solidarity with Blair before the prime minister made his hasty departure for London to confer with his Cabinet.
"The war on terror goes on," Bush said. "I was most impressed by the resolve of all the leaders in the room. Their resolve is as strong as my resolve."
Based on evidence recovered from the rubble, investigators believe some of the bombs were on timers, a U.S. law enforcement official said.
Investigators doubted that cell phones - used in the Madrid attacks - were used to detonate the bombs in the Underground because the phones often don't work in the system's tunnels, the official said. One issue hampering the work is fear that the tunnels themselves may have been damaged in the blasts, the official said, speaking on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing.
In London, police said they could confirm at least 37 people had been killed, including two in the bus attack. Three U.S. law enforcement officials told The Associated Press at least 40 were killed. French Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy later said the death toll had risen to 50, citing a conversation with his British counterpart, but that could not immediately be confirmed.
Police said at least 700 were wounded, many of whom emerged bleeding and dazed from the Underground. Among them, at least 45 were in serious or critical condition, including amputations, fractures and burns, hospital officials told The Associated Press. Two young women from Knoxville, Tenn., were among those treated for injuries in the Underground, said their father, Dudley Benton.
The first blast caught a subway train between Moorgate and Liverpool Street stations, on the eastern fringe of London's financial district. Seven died, police said. Moorgate is named for one of the gates in the city walls of London, of which few traces remain. Some people caught in the blast emerged from the Aldgate Station, near Jack the Ripper's old haunts in Whitechapel.
The second bombing came five minutes later, on a second train deep underground between the King's Cross and Russell Square stations. Police said 21 died. King's Cross station, in one of the seediest parts of London, is the film setting for Platform 9 3/4 in the Harry Potter films. Russell Square station serves Bloomsbury, the early 20th-century literary hotbed where Virginia Woolf and luminaries lived.
At 9:17 a.m., there was an explosion involving two or perhaps three trains around Edgware Road station. Five people were killed, police said. Edgware Road is the heart of a thriving Arab community, and convenient to Hyde Park, scene of last weekend's Live 8 concert.
The bus explosion, which killed at least two people, took place near Russell Square, an area of many modestly priced hotels popular with tourists. Also nearby is the home where Charles Dickens lived from 1837 to 1839.
Doctors streamed out of the British Medical Association's offices when the bus blew up outside.
Bystander Raj Mattoo, 35, said the roof of the bus "flew off and went up about 10 meters (about 30 feet). It then floated back down."
Terrorism experts agreed that the explosions had the hallmarks of al-Qaida.
"This is clearly an al-Qaida style attack. It was well coordinated, it was timed for a political event and it was a multiple attack on a transportation system at rush hour," said Lawrence Freedman, professor of war studies at King's College in London.
Blair implicated Islamic extremists but cautioned that they speak for only a small percentage of Muslims.
"We know that these people act in the name of Islam," he said, "but we also know that the vast and overwhelming majority of Muslims here and abroad are decent and law-abiding people who abhor this act of terrorism every bit as much as we do."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are many speculations as who are responsible behind the bombing , not much proof whatosever but Blair is definitely pointing his fingers to Islamic extremists and Al-Qaeda...hhmmm could it also be related to the London's victory of Olympic host bidding? Still early to tell.

My theory : 11/9 - US attack, 7/7 - London attack.. could it be 7-11 behind it? Hu hu..sorry was just making an early morning joke. The news is no joke though. Feel sorry for the people & families involved.

A Cute Gift From Bandung

2005-07-07T07:42:00.000+08:00

Came back from a long crisis meeting (9.00am - 1.30pm) and found this on my desk. Thank you Dear Nadya for the token of rememberance from Bandung. Brightens up my day :D. I can add them to my fridge magnet collection.

Would like to express my deepest condolence on the demise of Nadya's great grand aunt. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan dimurahkan rezeki. DariNya kita datang, kepadaNya kita kembali....

Succumbing to Life

2005-07-05T07:51:00.000+08:00

HELP ME TO RESURFACE

Nothing much is happening in my life right now. Work seems to be taking a big chunk of everything. It has been going back from work at 7pm (at least) for the past few weeks. Not really a problem since I don’t have kids yet, but I find it a torment to the body, mind & soul. In 4 words : I HATE MY JOB. I guess 5 years here is enough for me. I need to break through. There’s no spark of excitement whatsoever. I do my job for the sake of the monthly salary and that’s not good. Yes, I know there are many graduates out there who are still unemployed and I should thank my lucky stars, say you? Not that I’m not thankful but I just feel like I had enough. I am purely unmotivated. I envy people who has punctual 9 to 5 working hours. At least they have other things to look forward to after work. By the time I got home, I would be sore all over and all I can think of is the bed. How can you self-motivate when the effort is simply futile?

THE TRAGEDY OF MOVING

We are finally settled comfortably in the new house instead of sleeping on the piles of clothes :) Although tiring and missing most of my favourite TV shows, moving is definitely fun. It takes you away from you daily routine of going back to the same house for years. Yup, I’ll do anything for something different. Feels like my life is going stagnant, pretty scary when your are only 28. By the way, as much as we like moving, our pet fishes didn’t. Aqus put them in a pail so that he can cleaned the aquarium. Sadly, 6 of them died leaving only one survivor which we had to give away to the new neighbour (luckily they have an aquarium) because it will take some time before we get the aquarium ready again. It was only last Sunday that we finally get the aquarium working again and went fish shopping. Bought goldfishes again since they are the easiest to take care of. I wanted colourful salt water fish like Nemo but taking care of them is mighty tedious so we decided not to. Ya, like I have enough time for myself la kan. So, we got ourselves another 5 goldfishes. Everytime we missed the one survivor we gave away, we just have to look to the right of the house and there he is , swimming happily with his new family. My neighbour placed their aquarium outside so you can keep an eye whether they are feeding the fish or not. Ha ha.

Between Pontianak Menjerit (Vampire Screaming) & Moving

2005-06-28T12:55:00.000+08:00

We went to the movies last Friday night after work. Since Saturday & Sunday will be the moving into-the-new house days, we decided to do some activities before that. So, movie it was.
Initally, we planned to watch Batman Begins or Mr a& Mrs Smith but since the show time were quite late, we settled on local Malay production, Pontianak Menjerit.

Some people would probably be making faces and wondering why on earth we watched that film. At first, we were skeptical as well , ya, remembering the last Malay movie we watched, Mistik, was a complete waste of money. All we can see was people running around frantically and Rita Rudaini’s annoying laughter.

But Pontianak Menjerit proved to be something else. One most apparent feel that the movie succeeded in portraying was the humour. The movie was amazingly hilarious. Combining the elements of comedy and horror, the movie started by gathering all heirs of Datuk Pengiran Abdul Rahman for a will reading session. One incident leads to another and ghosts were seen and people were missing.

It was not much of a horror movie, even the ghosts were funny and don’t look real but the comedy message managed to reach the audience. One thing for sure, Mazlan Pet-Pet and Sheila Rusly were brilliant.

If you’re looking for a good laugh and need to loosen up, I suggest go and watch this movie. Don’t put any hopes on hi-tech special effects stuff coz you won’t find them in here, just enjoy the comedy & storyline. Doesn't hurt to support our local film.It was worth my RM16. And it was definitely enjoyful watching Aqus laughing until he almost fell of his seat.

Btw, my body is sore all over and I am drained out of all energy. Moving house was definitely a strenuous task. Glad that we managed to get everything moved last weekend. There’s still a lot to do at the new house, boxes to unpack and furniture to arrange. Right now, I am closing one eye to that. I am taking a break at the moment, will continue unpacking on this weekend.

Can you raed tihs?

2005-06-24T16:53:00.000+08:00

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can.I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs tuhbms up to you!!

When Quota Prevails....

2005-06-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

She's a calm and gentle lady. Always with a sweet smile on her face. Such a sweet, sweet lady. Someone who is also kind at heart.

There were hardly days when she’s late for work. Most of the time she will be around when others are still on their way to the office.
A hardworking, diligent executive who always delivers her job on time. Never heard any objections from her on the tasks she has to do.
And I remembered her being present in the office 99% of her pregnancy days, hardly took any medical leave.
Infact she was still around when her due date was 2 days away.
I remembered how hesitant she was to take Emergency Leave when her son was sick.

And this is the same executive that they rate with 2.
An under achiever.
For the first time, I saw those gentle eyes were puffy and brimming with tears. While others are enjoying their salary increament and bonus, she has little to enjoy for.

What didn’t she do to deserve ratings like others? She’s a competent and good executive just like the rest.

Let me tell you this. She didn’t get 3 or 4 or even 5 just because of the so-called QUOTA.

She is the black sheep so that the normal distribution of the appraisal will look nice. In another word, the victim.

What you deprive her of in this world, you will have to give her back di akhirat (after this world).

It is as simple as that.

(This story is fictitious. It is not related to anyone living or dead, except those hearts who have been touched........ )

Advertisement Of The Year - Happy Father's Day

2005-06-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

It shows how an effective advertisement can get to you. Few words, no graphic but yet it manages to deliver the message very well and in an ironic tone as well...Ha ha..

So, remember if you don't want to get pregnant, use DUREX ;) or there will be more unexpected Happy Mother's Day & Father's Day wishes next year..huhu

We Are Moving Out

2005-06-20T10:33:00.000+08:00

this weekend from our current apartment in Pinggiran Putra to a more comfortable double storey house which is just 200m away. He he...

Reason being is the apartment is just nice for the two of us but it proves to be a bit of inconvenient when my Parents in Law come into town with my siblings in law (all 4 of them). Not to mention my other relatives. Not that they complained since the apartment has swimming pool and everything, the kids love it. I just like them to be more comfortable spending their time here.

Besides, the house we are moving to belongs to my brother and he's give a cheaper rental than the current apartment we're living in. More space also means more privacy, hehe correct meh?

Our house in Prima Tropika will only be completed by middle next year and by the time we do some furnishings, grills,defect check and all it might take until end of next year. Haha..then the headache of paying for a house will add on to the current headaches..We fell in love at first sight with the house and despite the fact that it is a bit too pricey, pejam mata jer la and beli..( just close our eyes and purchase).

The latest phase of the house is much more expensive and exclusive with Balinese Style and 2,100 square feet but the price is RM300,000++ !! Let's just say that they increase the price up to RM30,000.

But of course when we thought of buying, I forecasted my salary to be higher than now (by the yearly increament) but since this year's increament is nowhere to be seen yet, it might be a problem later but I 'll worry bout that later.

Now I need to worry on packing our things and finding movers. It might take several trips to the house. Luckily it is just 5 mins away. It will definitely be a tiring weekend. Have to inform the ASTRO people to come and dismantle and re-install the dish. Woudn't want to miss my AF3 !!

The Ultimate Star Wars Personality Test

2005-06-16T09:45:00.000+08:00

Not that I'm a fan of Star Wars. Just came across this in http://www.liquidgeneration.com/home.asp . Been quite some time since I did this quiz thingy . So, which personality are you?

Selamat Bertunang, Azah & Jaffry

2005-06-15T10:50:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, I just got back from my leave. Yup, I took another 3 days leave from 8/6 – 10/6 for my sis’ engagement. Add the weekends to that I had 5 days leave!! Talk about heaven.

My sis’ engagement ceremony was on the 9/6/2005. Alhamdulillah everything went well. I managed to finished all the wedding hantaran on time, what a relief.

The ceremony started at 9.30 with the arrival of her future fiancé’s family. They were already in KL since the day before .It was a long journey for them from Perlis to KL.

To cut things short, the ceremony went well, then they had some brunch (or early lunch) before departing. We served nasi putih (white rice) with “kampung” (traditional) delicacies like gulai ikan masin nenas (salted fish with pineapple curry), rebung masak lemak (shoots cooked with coconut milk), goreng ikan gelama masin (fried salted fish), paceri terung (eggplant with gravy), mixed vegetables and of course some kuih-muih (tidbits).

Here’s some photos to share. Some of them I scanned, some were from a friend’s digital camera. Apologies for the pictures quality. All in all, it was a tiring but exciting day.

My little sister, Azah. Not so little anymore.Tahun depan dah jadi isteri orang (Next year she will be someone’s wife)

The arrival of her fiance’s family

Welcoming & discussion on both sides for the future wedding arrangements. The wedding hantaran from the guys’ side can be seen here (Green colour)

Preparing for the wearing the engagement ring ceremony

Before the ceremony starts, “salaming ” her fiance’s aunts

The ceremony done by her fiance’s eldest aunt

The wedding hantaran for pihak lelaki (which I barely finish on time..hehe)

Another shot of the hantaran

Hantaran from another angle

Bunga telur (egg flower) which I made with artificial flowers. Replace the eggs with chocs

My first self-attempt to do the sirih junjung. Hu hu

Chocolates In A Basket

Kain Baju Melayu & Songket In A Deocrated Box

Cookies In Decorated Jars

Exchanging the hantaran, the guys’ are taken into the room.

A picture of sibling happiness. Aqus’ brothers and sis (my siblings in law) with my sis, Azah. From left to right: Faiq, Aliq, Azah & Farhana

Makan2x time! They must be hungry after all the complicated ceremony procedure. He he….

It is hard to believe that my sis is already engaged. Although we are only 4 years apart she has always been a little sister of mine. It’s amazing how fast time flies. And next year she will be married. That reminds me, I am getting older as days pass by. Next year I will be 29, and by 2007 bye bye 20’s here come 30’s. Errk.

Cakkk!! I'm back!!

2005-06-06T13:04:00.000+08:00

Cakkkkk!!

Ehehe ello everybody, I'm back in the house. I am not quitting this blogging too soon. How has it been with everybody?? Miss me??
Life has been soooo hectic this past few weeks. We have been making too many road trips, I am still exhausted till today. A lot has been happening since my last posting and here's to sum it up:

1. Trip to Cherating

The Cherating trip involved me & Aqus and also another couple, Naza & hubby. Since they haven't been on a honeymoon yet, we thought it would be a good idea to go together.

Me & Aqus were supposed to head to Cherating by 10 am but guess what time did we left? 4.00 pm!! I went to an umm umm...ermm in*****ew. A walk-in one that took 6 hours.

Naza & hubby had already left in the morning , we travelled in separate cars.By the time we began our journey, they have already arrived in Legend Cherating Resort. Suprisingly, the trip didn't take long on the new highway, just 2.5 hours to Kuantan and about 1 hour more to Cherating. Very convenient compared to the conventional road. We arrived around 8pm.

I have never been to Cherating, frankly speaking I was expecting something like Langkawi's environment, where all the resorts, seafood restaurant and souvenir shops are build along the stretch of the beach and tourists walking around sightseeing and enjoying the view.

What embraced us once we reached there was a different environment. There were not much restaurants around although the resorts are quite a number. I hardly see any souvenir shop and the surroundings were so quiet. It is like a typical village in Malaysia, with a solemn and quite night life. I didn't see any foreign tourists at all. Just local people bringing their children for the school holidays. Did they stopped developing Cherating? I just don't know.

We took a trip up to Terengganu the next day. Even in Terengganu, most of the chalets are closed, the alive ones are in shambles, waiting to be demolished. I guess the tourism industry in Malaysia has taken a great blow from the tsunami. I didn't come across any "mat salleh" tourists, just local people, doing some bargaining especially at the Pasar Payang.

Apart from that, the stay in Legend Cherating was worthwhile. The room was cozy and comfortable, the food was quite good.

Along dear, I didn't take any pictures because i do not own a digital camera and we left our camera at home due to the rush. Hope that my brain is photographic enough to save me the memory of the trip :D

2. Selamat Pengantin Baru, Mai & Zaimi

Alhamdulillah, Mai & Zaimi is already bonded in the sacred and blessed matrimony bond on 29th May 2005. I wish both of you a happy and prosperous life and blessed with many wonderful, beautiful children. Sorry for not making it to your wedding, ya, the Cherating thing.

3. Congratulations to Mama Reenaz & Papa Ijan

Abundance of joy for Mama Reenaz for delivering a healthy baby boy in SMJC on 2nd June 2005 . Her baby boy is named Muhammad Ridhwan bin Nor Azizan. Both mom and baby is in good health, InsyaALLAH. Reenaz is a wonderful and dear friend of mine, she will be a great mom to her baby boy. Just heard the news today her baby has been admitted to ICU due to some conditions.

Reenaz dear,

There are times when Allah will test us and I hope you will facethis difficulties with a strong heart. I will be praying for the health of your baby boy. Be strong dear sweet mother, you will soon see through this ordeal.

4. Happy Birthday to My Ma !

2nd June also marked my beloved Ma's 58th birthday. Many happy returns Ma and may all your wishes come true, among them a long life and blessed with happiness. I love you with all of my heart.

That basically wraps up my previous week activities. There's a lot more to write actually but the lazy bug has bite me, so I got to lay back for a while. Kemalasan tahap maksima. Hu hu.

Winner American Idol 4 ...Carrie Underwood!

2005-05-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

The result is out. Carrie is the winner of American Idol 4. My prediction hit 1 out of 4. I predicted in Nostradamus AzaLea the finalists would be Carrie, Vonzell, Mario and Anwar. Mario left, Anwar lost the battle halfway, Vonzell is quite good sitting at no. 3 position, and of course the reigning tiara goes to Carrie.

I must say that it was a neck-to-neck competition this year. Bo Bice is a strong competitor, infact he was more consistent than Carrie, and a more professional singer and performer. Carrie has got a superb voice but a “wooden” performance. One thing that is certain is that Carrie has never been in the bottom three. Not even once while Bo have had his experience on the verge to be voted out. And during the finalists selection, he was not a favourite of Simon, it was a split decision, but I am glad he made it through. Despite the so called “conspiracy” on mixed up on the toll-free numbers and Paula Abdul’s affair, it was overall a good season.

I wouldn’t have minded if Bo had win anyway. I felt both of them fit the title of American Idol. Perhaps Carrie can go on making albums that suits the listening pleasure of America and sell it more than other Idols but Bo can go ahead and make an album which he likes. Clive was giving him a promise that they will do an album together.

Malaysian Idol is starting real soon. Hope we can have talents as good as AI.

But first thing first, I am going to Cherating tomorrow, can hardly wait !!!!

Meeting 9 to 5

2005-05-25T17:53:00.000+08:00

Today has been a MEETING day. I was in operations meeting this morning from 9.00am - 2.00pm. And in the afternoon I had to attend another presentation from 2.30pm - 5.15pm. So, that concludes the whole day of just attending meetings.

It is a major difference from my previous job assignment where I was required to sit in front of the PC all the time. Meetings, walking around or socializing simply mean my tasks will not be completed.

Yup, I transferred from marketing research to product marketing. Now, I have to get used to attending meetings.

That figures out why my other colleagues in product marketing can have that extra strength to work late until 8 or 9 pm while I was already burned out by 5.30pm when I was in research.

Half of their day gone attending meetings, they have to finish other tasks even if that means taking a few extra hours.

And all I did was sitting in front of the PC, doing secondary researches, databases and competitive analysis from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm.

I hardly went to meetings before. Nope. Nada. Zilch. My brain must have been exhausted to the max.

But being in either dept has got it's own advantages. All in all, that's what working is all about.

Me & My Allergy

2005-05-20T12:47:00.000+08:00

I have no allergy to medicine. At least not with all the medicines that I've come across.

Enough said bout that, I do have allergy to something else. I am allergic to MSG (mono sodium glutamate) . Once I consumed food that contains MSG, I will scratch away. It is like my body has an MSG detector.

Which is good in a way coz it will keep me inform on the food that might have hidden MSG in them. I can still eat Maggi Mee or Mamee Snacks and certain "jajans" but without the spices and seasoning in the small sachets that came with the packaging.

Cheezels is the nastiest of all. Of course Ajinomoto is a definite No No. I have to be careful when dining outside. Even Pringle's and Mr. Potato, I have to eat sparingly. And they are my favourites *sigh. Campbell's canned soup, I just stare and walk pass the shelf.I even have to skip the delicious Japanese rice crackers. One serving still ok, two , i'll regret in few minutes after that.

So, what is MSG?

Monosodium glutamate is a flavor enhancer and an additive for foods. It used to be that monosodium glutamate (MSG) was used primarily in Asian foods but its use is now widespread. MSG looks like white crystals (eg; Ajinomoto) not unlike that of salt.

These crystals are the sodium salt of glutamic acid and contain L-glutamic and D-glutamic acid. It is made by a fermentation process using chemicals to free the glutamic acid from protein. MSG can be made from corn, starch, molasses or sugar.

MSG can be found not only in canned soups and flavored crackers and chips; it can also be found in frozen treats like ice cream and yoghurt, soda pop and just about anything else. So if you are sensitive or are allergic to MSG, it is very important to read the food labels carefully.

To add on my list, I am lactose intolerant. I can't drink milk without having stomach ache after that and series of toilet visits after that.

The kind of milk that I can drink is lactose free like Enercal. Ya, the one that costs RM25 for a small tin. And it increases your appetite like mad. Oh, well, I have to pass that.Even Anlene lactose free is a No, No. Hmm, might be bcoz they are not 100% lactose free. Daisy or Marigold Hi-Lo, one glass max. Not more.

Funny thing is I'm ok with milk-based food. Cheese, yogurts, yogurt drinks, lassi drinks, I can have them generously. Except to watch out on the cheese calorie count.

It is a wonder sometimes how your body tells you on things that you didn't know of unless you have consumed them. And hopefully, next time you want to eat these food, you will remember what it will do to you.

Like the saying " Once Bitten Twice Shy". But in my case it is normally " More Than Once Eaten, Regret Later".

Ha ha. Stubborn girl.

Cahaya - Kris Dayanti

2005-05-18T14:19:00.000+08:00

Azalea is currently listening to :

Cahaya - Kris Dayanti

Dosakah aku
Bila dicintaimu
Bila jalinan hati kini mengerahku
Tapi haruskah diriku pasrah
Diriku mengalah

Memang cinta tiada bermata
Kisah cinta kan sedih juga bahgia
Ku ini terjerat kernanya
Sesal lepaskan dia

Jalannya cinta menodai hati
Aku dicinta jalinan tiada pasti
Dan aku tak harus terkalahkan
Dan diriku terabaikan
Kuikuti jalannya hati

Memang cinta tiada bermata
Kisah cinta kan sedih juga bahgia
Ku ini terjerat kernanya
Sesal lepaskan dia

Ohhh...Dan aku tak harus terkalahkan
Dan diriku terabaikan
Kuikuti jalannya hati

Hmm..bunyiknya macam cinta tiga segi or the lady is leaving her married lover. Beautiful but sad song.

More About AzaLea

2005-05-18T10:30:00.000+08:00

I got this questionnaires from a dear friend's Friendster.

Here's my version:
1.Fave nickname?
Azalea

2.how old are you ?
27 going 28

3.which school did u go to?
Form 1-3, Sri Aman Girls, Form 4-5, MRSM Muar

4. Which U did u go to?
Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. I am a local. Huhu

5. Which faculty did u studied in?
Faculty of physics & applied sciences. Major: Chemistry

6.What did u graduated in?
BSc. Chemistry

7. Where are you working at currently?
TM Net. A huge deviation from my degree

8.when is your birthday?
On the 10th of every September

9.status ?
status quo. Married ..eheh

DO YOU??

10. smoke ?
Nope.

11.drink ?
Lots of plain H20

12. cry when you are jealous ?
I dun cry over jealousy. Just spank him.

13.hurt yourself when you felt you hurt your loved
Nope. I Simply apologize

14. hate yourself ?
Nope. I’m thankful for who I am but I do envy some people

FAVOURITES??

15. perfume?
Ralph Lauren’s Romance, Elizabeth Arden’s Green Tea, Cartier’s So Pretty

16. food ?
I like anything that is served hot & tasty

17. places?
Switzerland .No. Seriously. Home :) .No place like home

18. show(s) ?
CSI. All three of them. Tru Calling, Apprentice, Cold Squad

19. songs ?
depends on my mood

20. movies ?
Thrillers & Horrors

21. seasons ?
Malaysia’s . Hujan emas di negeri orang….I’d like to see & touch real snow *sigh

22. ice cream flavours ?
Vanilla & with almonds or pecan in them

PREFER??

23. skaters or surfers?
surfers. Not that it makes any difference to me

24. coffee or tea ?
Coffee. Ice blended. Rhumba. Nyummie…

25. pink or blue ? Both colours are nice.
Reminds me of a girl and a boy

26. shower cream or soap ?
Shower cream. I like to be lathered in lotsa foams :D

27. Cinemas to DVD?
DVDs. At the comfort of my own home.

HAVE YOU EVER??

28. hug?
Ya. Loved ones & stuffed toys

29. how many diff people have you kissed ?
I’ve kissed lots of kids & babies.

30. love someone till you don't mind dying for him?
No point dying over somebody, I just live and die for ALLAH. Others I offer love & affection

31. showed attitude to your spouse?
I’m a mere human. Some nasty attitudes tends to get released at moments

32. run away from home ?
Nope. Home is where the heart lies

WHO IS??

33. the last person you called ? My hubby

34. the last person who text you ?
My manager. Huhu

35. who are the people who can always cheer you up?
My hubby, family & my beloved friends

ASK YOURSELF??

36. how's your life nowadays ?
I am happy & content. Waiting for my live to be complete

37.what's in your mind right now ?
My bed. Badly needs to have a nap

38.Who annoys you the most ?
Selfish people & hypocrites

39. what do you think about your love life right now?
Couldn’t have been better. I’m blessed

40. who's your favourite person to crap with ?
My cubicle mate. Haha Guess who

41. will you survive without love?
Definitely not. Love makes me blossom

42. what will make you happier ?
Workwise: To quit my job & start a business, Personal life: Children …lotss of them

43. Got any plans for tonight?
Nope. Just another nite of doing the wedding stuff. Besides CSI Vegas is on air tonite

44. Fave song?
English: Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. Malay: Cahaya by Kris Dayanti

45. What are you doing?
Doing this rite now

46. Single or taken?
Taken. He he

47. Are you afraid of getting hurt?
Yes. Emotionally more than physically

48. Are you afraid to hurt the one you love?
Yes. Although I sometimes do that subconsciously

49. Do u think 2005 is a good year for u?
Started quite well. Hope it gets better

50. What song is stuck in your head right now?
Lonely, I am so loneelyyyy…..Catchy tune..hehe

51. Who do you dedicate that song to?
Nobody. Just there for no reason

52. What's your current mood right now?
Restless and sleepy

53. What lipstick colour do you wear?
Rite now is brown. I like earth shades

54. Why is love blind?
Because there’s no telling whether you’ll fall over looks or personality. Sudden crushes are due to looks but knowing each other for some time will lead to falling for the personality. Depends on individuals

55. What's your fave colour?
Lime Green

56. What’s your fave shopping place?
Any shopping malls is fine with me

57. Where do you like to shop for shoes?
Panache & Shoe Connection

58. Where do you like to shop for accessories?
Bonita & Axxess

59. Where do you like to shop for bags?
Any where is fine as long as they’re good

60. Where do you like to buy shakes?
Don’t fancy them. McD’s are quite ok though

61. Where do you like to shop for outfits?
Total Woman

62. Where do you like to shop for scents?
Fragranceonline.com or Sasa

63. Where do you like to shop for stationery?
Err..I no longer buy them. Get free from office

64. Where do you like to buy toys and gifts?
Toy City, Memory Lane, Lovely Lace, Bonita

65. Where do you like to watch movies?
Berjaya or Pyramid TGV. Very comfortable

66. Where do you like to shop for makeup?
Maybelline, Loreal or Revlon corners in any Guardians or Watsons

67. Where do you like to shop for toiletries?
Hypermarkets & Pharmacies

68. Where do you like to shop for cds/dvds?
”Local” DVD shops. RM8/RM10 each. Buy 5 free 1. Sssshhhh….

69. Where do you like to shop for groceries?
Tesco or JJ

70. Where do you like to shop for books?
Popular & MPH

71. Lastly, where are all these shops located?
Around Klang Valley & KL

Feel free to use or put them in your blogs. Go ahead, knock yourself out.

Waiting to Break Away!!

2005-05-16T12:58:00.000+08:00

Countdown 12 Days More to My Breakaway!!

Legend Cherating Here I Come...

I am physically here but my mind & soul are not. Been some time since we took some time off for a holiday. It might be a normal trip to Cherating for some people but I've never ben there so I'm really looking forward to the trip!

Self Diagnosis Pressure Test

2005-05-13T08:49:00.000+08:00

Attached are non-animated pictures. They are use to relate to your pressure level.

If you see them moving, then that means you have pressure. The speed of the moving is the level of your pressure.The higher that moving speed, the higher pressure you have.

Most children and old men only see static pictures and not moving. That's because they have less pressure.

If you see the pattern moving in a slow motion, that means you have a bit pressure at this moment.

Test yourself regularly with these pictures to know yourself better.

Sometimes, it is good to have a appropriate pressure to push us to do better, but too much pressure can cause us to the end of the edge and resulting sickness.

Please calm yourself if you see those patterns are moving in fast pace.

P/S: Copy the images and paste and enlarge them in Word so you can focus on each separately.

From The Corner Of My Eye

2005-05-12T13:43:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt that you saw something or someone from the corner of your eye only to turn and look straight at that moving object and find there's nothing there?

I have.

Infact I have experienced that more than 3 times. I would be watching TV or reading magazines when I will notice some movement near me which I cannot see properly unless I turn my head and look straight at it. And in all encounters, when I turned to look, there was nothing there.Hmmm...

It looks like a white moving thing, sometimes, it almost look like a figure running and disappear immediately when I turn to focus on it. It's not really scary but not ordinary either.

I wonder if my eyes were playing tricks on me. Or probably the lights or the swaying leaves out on the streets.

But seriously I am not too sure. Sometimes it makes my heart skip a beat.

Especially when at that point of time my mind suddenly remembered on incidents that happen to people who are gifted with sixth sense. They most often that not, see supernatural things through the corners of their eyes.

And the story of one of my ex-colleague who saw a figure in white dress with long hair that reached the floor in the washroom for Disabled. She saw "it" from the corner of her eye and decided not to enter. It was 6.00pm.
Or when I saw one of my junior in MRSM running around in the toilet at 1 am in the morning with the lights off only to return to the room and saw her sleeping soundly in her bed. I was going to turn on the toilet lights when I saw her making laps in there. All from the corner of my eye. A figure that looked like her.

I hope it's nothing. Probably my astigmatisme has gone worse and I need to have my eyes checked. It' s when you relate the incident to something that is supernatural that will cause goosebumps. Or maybe it's a sign to show that "they" are around. It is that similar feelings when you suddenly felt cold for no reason or when you felt someone was standing behind you when no one was actually there. An unexplainable "presence" feeling.

Whatever the logical explanation is, I'm not going to think too much of it. And you shouldn't too.

My Test Results Are Out

2005-05-12T10:44:00.000+08:00

I posted Patience Is The Heart Of Virtue on my visit to gynae. Been calling her nurse couple of times to know my beta-HCG blood test and pap smear results. Yesterday, I got the news I've been waiting restlessly for. Alhamdulillah, my pap smear looks normal and my beta-HCG in blood is 2 (in order to start a safe pregnancy, the count should be maintain <5).

It is amazing how a good news can turn around your day. Despite the fact that I have to be in the crisis meeting from 9.30am - 3.30 pm, suddenly the ordeal is not too taxing. I am delighted and so relieved that everything is back to normal. Feels like the grey heavy clouds are passing and the ray of hope looks more promising.

A Letter For My Ma On Mother's Day

2005-05-06T15:57:00.000+08:00

Ma,

Merenungi wajah tuamu yang semakin hari semakin uzur meniti usia, wajah yang penuh kasih sayang membesarkan kami 3 beradik tanpa rasa jemu dan marah walaupun tugas sebagai ibu dan ayah diletakkan di bahumu seorang. Dalam kudrat yang tidak seberapa dan kelembutan seorang wanita yang bernama ibu, dikau sebenarnya yang menjadi tunggak keluarga, tiang seri yang teguh berdiri menaungi kami yang pastinya akan rebah dan bercempera jika tiada kekuatan kasih sayangmu.
Terima kasih di atas pengorbananmu selama ini, dari saat lahirku hingga kini, tidak pernah kurasai kasih sayangmu berkurangan walau sekecil zarah sekalipun. Diri ini mampu berdikari dan bernafas dengan lega di dunia yang fana ini semuanya kerana mu. Juga abang dan adik yang kini sudah mempunya karier masing-masing. Tidak mungkin kejayaan ini hadir tanpa kecekalan hatimu memberikan pendidikan dalam jerih payah.

Ma,

Tidak mungkin ku lupa tangisan di malam hariku di sekolah berasrama menangisi nasib keluarga kita, cuba untuk memahami mengapa kasih saying dan perhatian seorang ayah begitu tandus dalam hidupku dan betapaku merindui mu dalam kejauhan, tapi aku kuatkan semangat demi untuk berjaya dan untuk berbakti padamu.
Dan tidak juga akan ku lupa, bagaimana dirimu menangis setelah aku mendirikan rumah tangga kerana ma merasakan keadaan akan berubah dan aku tidak lagi tinggal bersamamu, tapi percayalah tiada apa yang akan berubah malah kasih sayangku terhadap ma bertambah mekar setiap hari.
Walau segunung emas dan selautan permata, pastinya tidak akan dapat membalas segala jasa dan kasih-sayang ma pada kami. Aku cuma berharap untuk menjadi seorang ibu persis sepertimu kepada anak-anakku nanti. Harum sungguh kasih ma pada kami dan walaupun jarang diungkapkan dalam kata-kata, ketahuila ma betapa kasihnya kami padamu.

Ma,
Entah mengapa setiap kali menyebut namamu dan mengingati dirimu, kolam air mata ini pasti bergenang dan air mata ini terlalu mudah untuk mengalir. Cuma satu harapanku untuk mu ma, untuk melihat ma bahagia meniti hari tuamu bersama kami dan sentiasa dirahmati Allah dan dimurahkan rezeki. Ku doakan dikau sentiasa berada dalam keadaan gembira sentiasa dalam lindungan Tuhan dan dikurniakan kesihatan yang berpanjangan.

Selamat Hari Ibu Ma dan Terima Kasih di Atas Segala-galanya.

Sentiasa Mengasihimu,
Azalea

Happy Mother's Day (2nd Sunday of May)

2005-05-06T15:41:00.000+08:00

MOTHER - My MA

I appreciate the many prayers

you've whispered during the worst moments in my life,

and the many hopes for my success

in all that I dreamed of.

I appreciate the kind wishes

that would make me so happy and fulfilled,

and the gentle words of encouragement

that were meant to strengthen my quests.

I appreciate the moments of sorrow

you experienced during my failures,

and the little gestures of kindness

that always made me feel better.

I appreciate your acceptance,

your ability to understand,

and the sincere friendship

that always gave me such security.

I appreciate the wisdom

of all the lessons you taught,

and the meaning behind the words

"unconditional love."

I appreciate all you've done

every word and gesture.

I know you've been the best there is

a mother beyond all compare.

For all you've done...

thank you, Ma.

For all that you are...

I love you.

This Mother's Day wish also goes out to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there. Happy Mother’s Day!

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." -- George Washington (1732-1799)

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." --Author Unknown

I Am Brooding (Dark, Dark Life)

2005-05-05T09:54:00.000+08:00

I am absolutely brooding! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Is it placid darkness or just a quiet calm style that sets you apart?

Virtues: Appreciation for deep thought is important, and no, I don't mean "Deep Thoughts" by good ole Jack Handey, though that must be widely loved. Humor-- light and dark-- is a staple, and absolutely necessary is your art. Literature, music; it's all important to your self expression.

Aspirations: There's a wide range of possibilities for any thoughtful person. Especially common would be artistry; writer, painter, composer; even the comedy field could use some help. If you're interested in politics, maybe a professional cynic would suit. ;) I'm sure you'd like to express your views openly (not limited to politics, but thinking in general) as your views of the human race are vast and intricate. Socrates would be proud.

Quirks: The peppy and preppy, the superficial and the artificial.

Factors: What you need is your downtime; peace and quiet. Relaxing with a good book, listening to some music. Thinking is a big factor, be it sophistic or plainly dark.

Future: As you continue to develop your views, self expression is inevitable. An outlet career aligning with your views would be ideal, and you may even enjoy a family to settle down with. Until then, I'm sure you'll develop your studies and talents to their fullest.

I am Busy , Busy, Busy

2005-05-04T10:24:00.000+08:00

My "kerang" (shell) in action

The "kerang" (shell) from back view

The "kerang" (shell) from front view. You can put basically anything in them, from fabrics, shoes, perfumes, chocolates, Quran, Shirts

.It comes in 3 sizes. Daddy , Mummy and Li'll shell (depending on what you want to put inside them)

I am busy, busy, busy. Doing my other profession :) I have a passion for doing wedding favors and hantaran. I have been doing some for office mates and relatives. For those who are unfamiliar, wedding favors or hantaran we call back here in Malaysia are gifts that brides and grooms exchange during their weddings. They are nicely decorated since it is for the very special wedding occasion. Basically, the things that a bride or groom prepare for each other depend on each other's preferences and agreement; it could range from fabrics, shirts, perfume, toiletries, make-up sets, cakes, cookies, towel and can go as high as PDA's, mobile phone, and even car keys. It is not really a compulsory but it has become a tradition for Malay weddings.
The pics above is an example of one I did for a friend few months back. Pic is courtesy of Sis Sue

I have 3 pending orders with me now:

1. Aqus’ cuzin wedding – 10 hantaran and 100 bunga telur (egg flower?)
Deadline : 25/5/05
2. My sis’ engagement – 9 hantaran
Deadline: 5/06/05
3. An office mate’s wedding – 3 hantaran
Deadline : 5/06/05

The most challenging thing is I need to finish all the wedding favors before 28/05/05 because we are going to Cherating for a vacation from 28/05/05 until 30/5/05. By the time I come back, it will be too late to finish everything with other preparations and weddings to attend. So let’s see, I have roughly 3 weeks more..errkk hurry up ila!

Anyway, for anyone who would like to order any wedding favors, hantaran and bunga telur, I do take orders. Mostly as a part-time hobby to keep me busy after work, while watching TV. Price is very affordable rather than buying off shelf from Sayang You or SSF. I am not an expert but you can share your ideas on how you like them to be and I’ll try my best. I wish I can post all the pics here soon but I do not have any camera phone nor a digital camera. *sigh..now where’s that bonus they’re talking about??

I plan to take up fresh & artificial flower arrangements soon. Need to go for the classes. I plan to have a wedding hantaran, hampers + florist business one day. My passion for office work is diminishing. By having a part-time hobby at least I can take my mind off work. You can call it my “moments of sanctuary”.

It's A Girl !!

2005-04-29T12:16:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to Sity & Azrai for the arrival of their new born baby girl, Sity Insyirah on 28/04/05 at 6.00 am. Bundles of joy for both of you and good luck on parenting !!

I wish I can come and visit you at Ampang Puteri but I'm down with fever, flu and cough. Wouldn't want to infect mom, dad and baby :)

A Poem For Baby Sity Insyirah

When you see the wonder in her eyes
and sweetness in her smile,
when you hold her close to your heart,
your tiny miracle of love...

When you kiss her precious little face
and hold her trusting hand,
you'll know that God has given you
a blessing from above.

P/S : Had my second pregnancy gone smoothly, I would have delivered on the same day. Oh Well, that's another story. Meanwhile I'm sharing other parents' joy ;)

I was Ranked At No. 12 Today

2005-04-27T11:11:00.000+08:00

I was ranked at no. 12 on Malaysia Top Blogs today. This is the highest rank I've gotten so far. Pretty exciting :D .Normally the space after "Rank" is blank. I think by the time i post this it will be blank again. Ha ha ..momentary success.

Ello..Ello... Is Anyone There?

2005-04-27T10:39:00.000+08:00

I watched White Noise on DVD last night. The movie was trying to bring in a different concept on how the dead can communicate with the living. The story revolved around a man Jonathan Rivers who at first has a happy family, living with his pregnant wife and son. Of course like other thrillers, the happiness didn’t last forever. His wife went missing one day and ended up dead.

Grief stricken he was and one day a man came and told him that his wife has been trying to contact him through electronic devices, hence the term EVP came into the picture. EVP or Electronic Voice Phenomenon is a condition where the dead tried to communicate with the living through household electronic devices (this includes the radio, TV, phones bla..bla). At first you will hear static and unclear transmission. But once you transfer it to magnetic audio/video tape, you can actually hear and see blurry figure which were supposed to be dead people.

At first, I thought the movie was kinda cool but soon after, it started to drag. There was nothing much to see except Keaton too obsessed with the EVP thingy and started to contact his wife and seemed to leave behind other of-this-world business. It is ironic when an educated man (he’s an architect in this film and has his own co-firm), can immediately turn to someone who believes something so out of-this-world and superstitious at the same time.

There were of course suspense moments, when he accidentally communicate with the bad side of the dead world. The 3 figures (who I have no idea who they are until the end of the film, I presumed are criminals during their living years), who seemed to be vulgar, wicked, malicious spirits that can harm human.

To cut it short, he realized that his wife death was not an accident but was caused by a man who seemed to have been getting the ideas and instructions on how to kill the victims from these 3 bad spirits. Whenever they appear on the electronic devices, chances are someone will turn up dead.

So, he finally managed to track this guy down and was trying to save another hostage from dying but he was attacked by the 3 spirits and ended up dead himself. The last scene showed as his son was leaving his funeral, suddenly there’s a crackle on the radio and he somehow heard his dead dad’s voice and smiled to himself. Hmm weird huh? Suddenly his son is an expert in listening to EVP and bravo!! he doesn’t need a magnetic tape to do that. Well, maybe it’s just a sign to show him that his dad and mom were reunited in the dead world, and forgetting the fact that they are leaving him behind. Poor him.

The concept of EVP is an interesting theory since there has been many cases reported on how the dead called up their living loved ones or relatives. It can be a good film if they put in more details in it. The film lacked so much emotions; love, suspense and even fear. The father seemed to totally neglect his son after his wife’s death and forever asking his sister to take care of the son when they were supposed to be a loving family. And there’s so many unanswered questions like who the heck are those 3 bad spirits? Who in the world is that bad guy who goes around killing everybody and getting lesson to do it from dead spirits?

You can watch this film if you like but there’s nothing much to see. And for those who are scared to watch ghost & thriller movies, be rest assured that you can watch this one with your eyes wide open. There’s no gory figures out to scare you.

And oh, by the way, don’t take up EVP as a hobby. It is mighty expensive to buy the equipments. Not worth it if you just want to listen to some dead people saying a word or two. For all you know it might be a faulty radio transmission.

Help Me, Anyone?

2005-04-26T15:53:00.000+08:00

I can't seem to be able to post picture/ photoss on my blog. The Hello BloggerBot will write this: Please wait while your images are uploaded. But then, it seems to be going nowhere. It didn't send over the pics to my Blog.

Have tried some troubleshooting, even trying to change to a new template (just in case it's the template problem) but nothing seems to work. Or are the network people blocking the uploads? Can anyone help me out on this?

My Friend? Ha Ha What A Liar

2005-04-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

What is a friendship? Many regard them as a blessing, a gift, something that you treasure. The same goes to me, I regard friendship as something precious. There are certain kind of people who have different categories of friendship. As what a late uncle of mine used to say;
The kinds of friends there are:

Sidewalk friend - the kind you don't really trust and would treat as someone who you just say Hi! to and then walk away.
Coffee shop friend - the kind that you would chat on daily work routines and what's the latest news in the world, which artist is seeing each other, what's the latest movie and stuff like that but not on your personal life.
House invited friend - the kind you will invite to your house and treat them as a family. You can sit down with them to listen discuss on personal matters but to a certain extend.
Sharing the same pillow friend - This is the highest level of friendship whereby your tell almost everything to this person, things you will never tell your family. They are your soulmates and you understand each other perfectly. (It could be your spouse)

I am not the kind of person to categorized my friends: you are either my best friends, or just my friends or a total stranger. If you and I were strangers, when we say Hi! to each other, you can become my friend. It is that simple. I believe I don't have any enemy, I hate it when other people have negative thoughts on me or talk behind my back. Not that I can control them, anyway but as long as you don't offend me, I will not find you offensive. That is how it has always been and I like it that way.

I have been upset these last few days. Been hearing some NOT-SO-GOOD stories about me lately. It seems that one of my colleague (or more than one, i seriously don't know) has been suspecting me of being a two faced. Being nice to them in front of their faces but tell stories about them to our superior behind their back.

I was shocked when I heard about this. Especially when these people are those I consider as quite dear friends and always pleasant to talk to. The kinds I thought would never have double thoughts on me what more accused me of something so awful and untruthful. I've done nothing except extending my friendship and yet this is happening, I just can't believe these people would dare to accused me behind my back instead of confronting me! What more when it is all LIES ! LIES! and came out of nowhere. Just based on an assumption that was 100% wrong.

Even when my other friend has already clear the air for me, saying that I wasn't the backstabber or "spy" they should be worried about, the damage has already been done.

I can forgive them if they shouted at me for no reason, make offensive jokes, wasted my time by telling outrageous stories, take my belongings without my permission or even treat my stuff as if they were theirs BUT when they acted like they are my friend, pretending to care for me but behind me they treat me as a backstabber, I find that unforgivable and no matter what they did to amend the mistakes, my perception towards them will never be the same. They can't just say sorry and pretend everything is back to normal when it is not. Kata orang; terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata binasa la jawabnya. You might say that I overreact but if the same thing happens to you, how would you cope? What would you do? Don't you agree that the betrayal of a friend is the worst thing that can happen ? By having double thoughts on me, surely that is a betrayal from that person.

Once the package of friendship is opened, it can never be closed. When I first opened their packages, there were perfect apples in them, only to find the rotten maggots lying underneath it.

I am sorry if I offended anyone with this posting. I just want to get this load off my chest. At least I will not think about it too much. There are other fishes in the sea, as to they are other friends in the world. We just have to find the right one. Once in a while we might stumble across people like this, they are not even worthy as my uncle used to say, as a SideWalk Friend.

Patience Is The Heart Of Virtue

2005-04-20T19:02:00.000+08:00

I was on leave yesterday. Finally, I managed to find the time to go and see my gynae. It was 5 months since my last visit to her clinic. I was supposed to see her every month , but I kept postponing. Maybe because I wanted to wait for the 6 months period, just to hear her say that I can start trying to conceive. After my previous complication, she advised me to take a 6 months break and now the 6 months is over.

So, I went in to see her, she did the ultrasound from outside and inside. Alhamduillah, everything looks normal. Then she proceeded with pap smear. To tell the truth, I was a bit scared of pap smear. Worrying of the pain and uncomfort it might caused. Especially when having the lights focused on *you know where* and the metal thing that was inserted. To my relief, it wasn't as bad as i thought. I gotta give credit to my gynae for her gentle and sort of relax approach. It was over in 2 minutes.

I had to do a beta-HCG blood test and this is like the kejulieth time i drew blood this year that i got so used to the needles and can actually stare at the needlepoint as it pierced my skin and into my vein. It was fascinating actually to watch my blood flowed into the tube. Alah bisa, tegal biasa, orang kata.

The results of my pap smear and beta-HCG test will be out by next week. The pap smear looks promising but I am a bit worried on the HCG test. The HCG level in my body should be below 5 or better 0. This is to make sure no more complications arise from my next pregnancy. The last time I checked it was 11. That was 4 months ago, hopefully now it is gone from my blood stream.

Even if the beta-HCG was 0, my gynae advised me as not to get pregnant yet, and wait for another 6 months just to make sure everything is ok. 6 months is actually a short period of time, but it seems like ages to me. Of course it does when you plan to get pregnant quick.

But if that's what the doctor dictated, i have to comply. Rather than regret for not taking heed.

If Aqus was willing to wait, why can't i?

Happy 28th Birthday, Caza!! (16 April)

2005-04-17T18:26:00.000+08:00

Yep, I change my blog template again, I like this one better. I like the bubble wave at the top of the page. Might stick with it. See how things goes ;)

I am full up to my head today, been eating since noon. Aqus, my sister and I went to a wedding kenduri in Kelana Jaya. The food was delicious. Since we didn't have any breakfast, we were eating like we hadn't eaten in 5 days :D. Then we went to Caza's house for another session of lip smacking, scrumptious food and of course the indulgence cake. I'm reminding myself not to take a heavy dinner or I might burst.

Thanx dear Caza, and happy 28th birthday to you.

To Caza:

Thank You for being a big part of my life; childhood, kindergarten, primary school, secondary school , my bridesmaid and till now. We have been friends for 23 years and let's be friends for another 23 years to come and till eternity.

Thank you for being a wonderful friend. Although we have grown older and have new circles of friends, we have never grew apart. Thanks for all the support and warmth of friendship that you've shown to me.

I wish you all the best in life and may you have all the things that your heart desired,all your dreams come true but most of all i wish you happines and true love.

P/S: There goes my 7 day diet *sigh

Amazing Facts

2005-04-15T10:54:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging lately since nothing much is happening at the moment. I have a few things to tell which I can't at the moment, it is not the right time yet :D. By the way, I'm just sharing some amazing facts for your reading pleasure today. Enjoy. I need a camera phone *sigh*

Apparently 1/3 of people with alarm clocks hit the 'snooze' button every morning, and from 25-34 age group, it is over 1/2. (Are u one of them? I know I am..almost everyday)
It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
There is more bacteria in your mouth than the human population of U.S and Canada combined.
Bulls are not attracted to the colour RED
Barbies full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck
If you put a piece of scotch tape on an inflated balloon, then stick it with a small pin or needle, it won't pop
Eating breakfast will help you burn from 5-20% more calories throughout the day.
Rubbing cocoa butter on your abdomen during pregnancy will prevent stretch marks.
If you chew a cabbage/lettuce leaf properly, you'll lose more energy than you'll gain from actually eating it.
Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. ( That explains the light bulb invention)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sound you hear when you macho people crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

You will have to walk 80 kilometers for your legs to equal the amount of exercise your eyes get daily. (if only eye exercise can make u lose weight!)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue
Michael Jordan has more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined..
Only female mosquitoes bite. Males only drink water and plant juice.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. (nutmeg jeruk is nice...)
Neck ties were first worn in Croatia.
An Octopus has 3 hearts! (Did you see the eat live octopus on Explorace? Gooeeyy & Squishy)
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction (they reproduce while in the single file;) )
Penguins are not found in the North Pole
Most people know what pH means, but few people know that it stands for pondus hydrogenii which means potential hydrogen and that each unit is a phidron.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
All the coal, oil, gas, and wood on Earth would only keep the Sun burning for a few days.
Your body releases growth hormones when you sleep.
You cannot sneeze with your eyes open. ( I hear they will pop out due to the pressure?)
Toothbrushes should be kept 6 feet away from the toilet to avoid being contaminated by airborne stuff stirred up after flushing (Toilets in Malaysia has enuff space meh, to put your tootbrush 6 feet away?)
Zebras are not black with white stripes, but are actually white with black stripes, coz if any of you animal lovers happen to stare at it's butt, you'll notice that the black stripes end there. (Care to look??)

Zero point energy is a source of energy which is released when atoms stop moving, at -273 Celcius. Impossible?

The Short Life Span Of An Arowana

2005-04-11T08:22:00.000+08:00

Remember my previous posting on our pet fishes? Well, I came home from work last Thursday around 7.30pm to find our arowana dead at the bottom left-corner side of the aquarium, in a nose-dived position. Ermm..he seemed to look fine the morning before we left for work.

Of course, then I had to break the news to Aqus since he's not home yet. I called him and told him about the fish. He's fond of the fish and I hate to make him sad. He didn't sound too upset over the phone, probably because he didn't want his friends to mock him for mourning over a dead pet. He came home around 9.30 and cleaned the whole aquarium. Or probably trying to erase his mind off the fish. Luckily our 5 gold fishes are still there, swimming around freely since they can have the whole aquarium to themselves now.

It seemed we still have a lot to learn on taking care of arowana. Mix them around in one aquarium with other fishes (even with the separator) will effect them, give the young arowana crickets or small fishes that are too big for them will spoil their digestion and you have to leave the aquarium machine on for 4 days before putting them in there.

To me, the incident that happened on the arowana is a reflection of how delicate and fragile life is. One moment you're here, the next you might not. Applying the situation on me, despite the fact that I no longer enjoy working at my current company, I should be thankful everyday that GOD has granted me another day to live for.

Sometimes you wonder how lucky some people were to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Sometimes you wished that you're born that way too, to live a luxurious life and buy anything you heart desired. Sometimes we tend to forget that health superceeds wealth in so many way. What good is all the money in the world if you can't trade them for a healthy body (or mind)?

I have a lady friend who has everything that life could offer her, youth, wealth, looks, luxury, life with the rich and famous and a firm career. 3 years ago, she was diagnosed with a spinal nerve complications which affected her body functionality system. She had to seek medical care locally as well as going to Australia. She had to leave work for 1 month and when she recovered, it wasn't 100%. We kinda fell out of touch except for rare outing occasions when she got transferred, but 4 days ago I received a call from her. She has been admitted again since the nerve complications has affected her brain and right side of the body functions. The doctors are still trying to work the best treatment for her but I fear that it would be another series of hospital visits. I am praying for her to recover. At the age of 29, she has a lot to live for.

I know that I should be grateful that I am healthy. Despite minor illness and some complications here and there, most of the times I have nothing much to complain about. I might not have a lot of money or fat deposits in the bank nor drive a luxury car, I am content just having enough to live by and of course, surrounded with loved ones and friends.

But, being a mere human, there are times when I get negative impact from another human's action. I guess i have to look at life in a more positive light and to enjoy every breath of air that GOD has granted me. I hope I can do that...........just have to give it try.

Wondrous of A Married Life

2005-04-05T11:13:00.000+08:00

Weekends went as normal, we went back to Aqus' hometown, Melaka since he got to settle some family issues. I was looking forward for Nora's wedding on last Sunday but we couldn't make it , so we're going to her husband's side this coming Sunday.
It is true they say that when we got married, our life will take a 180 degree turn, in some cases a complete 360 degrees (in cases when you got married to Datuks and VIP and had to learn all the protocols). Life takes a whole different view.
When I was single, I didn't have to think about any one else in every decisions and actions I made. Although parents played some role in decision-making, they practically leave everything to my own judgement when I started working.
But now, after getting married I realized that every decision i make,I have to take consideration on the consequences or the impacts on my other half and soon my children. There are times when I tend to take things in my own hands and not discuss it first. Call it my original behaviour of doing things on my own. But I will find myself regretting if in the end when my actions hurt my other half.
Marriage life requires patience, sacrifice, willingness to listen, to give and take and always be truthful to your spouse. I know that I am changed from the old me but for the better. I used to be lazy and most of the time leave the house chores for my mother to do. I practically never lift a finger except when washing and ironing my own clothes. Now that I'm married and had to do most of the house chores on my own like cooking, washing, drying,folding , ironing and keeping the clothes, cleaning the house but of course, with help on several RARE occasions (he he), I realized that it wasn't as easy as I thought. I took for granted most of the things mom did while I was staying with her. Being a housewife is just as hectic and tiring as having a working career.
Yes, I do miss my singlehood life. The freedom and not-a-care in the world moments. Going out with friends, window shopping, bowling, lepaking at the mamak stall, going for movies.
But if I had the wish of going back to being single and unmarried, I choose NOT to have that wish because being married is far more wonderful than being single. To have somebody there for you to talk to, pour your heart out, to express your love and getting all of it back in return is very precious. To have someone with you almost all the time and tended to you when you're sick, giving advices when you're at lost and needed guidance. I wouldn't give it up for the world.

TO THE NEWLYWEDS : NORA & AZIZI - Selamat Pengantin Baru dan semoga kekal ke akhir hayat. May you live a wonderful life together and InsyaALLAH blessed with beautiful children.

CSI NY Coming Soon!

2005-03-31T14:44:00.000+08:00

I am a die-hard fan of CSI. If there was one TV show that I cannot miss, this would be the one. There are many investigations and cop stories on TV but none come as close as CSI. I still remembered the first time CSI was aired, I got so attached to the show. Then came CSI Miami which everyone said is not as entertaining as CSI Vegas but to me both shows are at par. Next, CSI New York will be invading AXN!! I will be filled up to my head with CSI and enjoying every moment of it!

My interests in forensics and investigations with CSI are probably due to the fact that the thorough investigations that they do and all the laboratory experiments and chemicals just excite me. I have been fascinated in Chemistry since I got introduced to Science in Form 1, that's why I decided to further my degree in Chemistry. Although I am working in an Internet based (ISP) company now, watching CSI gives me a sense of déjà vu and at the same time I got to refreshed my brain on all the chemical terms. I can always relate the episodes with my chemistry mind , with the once-so-familiar terms of the chemical solvents and solutions and lab apparatus (Mass Specs, UV, GC-MS, NMR and lots more). While some CSI conversations will leave my friends puzzled, I can give a wide grin that said "I know what the guys are talking about". Cocky huh? Ha ha.

Both the senior forensic officer in Vegas and Miami; Grissom and Horatio has different approaches in solving the cases. Grissom being the more meticulous, quiet but observant guy. He can be too workaholic at times and married to his job shall I say?
Horatio; the detective who's tough, rugged but at the same time is a savior to all the victims and their family. He will not settle down until the case has been solved. More like the knight in shining armor approach.
I have yet to watch CSI NY but I will certainly be keeping an eye on Detective Taylor (played by Gary Sinise) and his team.

I am definitely turning into a couch potato but honestly I don't really care about that. I always have this satisfied feeling washed over me after watching every episode of CSI. What will I do without AXN?that reminds me, we have to pay the Astro bill on time to avoid service interruption. Wouldn't want to miss even one episode!.

Grieving Over A Loss

2005-03-29T09:39:00.001+08:00

I'm grieving over a friend's loss today. She had gone through labour but lost her baby. She's fine but her baby didn't make it. Her baby was one of the toughest survivor I have ever known. Eventhough diagnosed with some complications and doctors weren't certain on his survival, he continued fighting for his life because he knew that his parents loved him so much and prayed for him to be fine at all times and be born into this world. He survived for 8 months in his mom's womb before GOD decided to take him away. As much as his parents loved him, GOD loves him more. I know this is the toughest time for both his parents, especially his mom.

I can't say that I understand her even if I had lost two pregnancies. Every pregnancy is unique and individual. I can't say that I understand her losing her baby cause I've lost mine because it is simply not the same. I can't say that she's still young and can have children later in the future because losing one baby cannot be replaced by another. Even for me, InsyaALLAH if I had children in the future, I will always remembered the ones that I lost.

The grief of a mom losing a baby is unbearable at times because you had to keep on living with the thought and memories of your lost child. Never had the opportunity to hold them in your arms, touch them and kiss them. But no matter how hard it is, we as Muslims will always believe that there's always a hikmah to every thing that has happened. And we have to keep on berusaha, berdoa dan tawakal. Good things will come our way finally.

To My Dear Friend,
I am so sorry for the lost of your baby. Although friends can only comfort and console, please know that we care and will be praying for him. Please be strong dear friend because our life journey is still long. There will be more hurdles along the way, but I know you're a strong-willed person. Please be assured that your baby boy is resting peacefully now with GOD. He will be waiting for the days to be reunited with his parents di Akhirat nanti kelak, InsyaALLAH. Just remember him in your prayers and I'm sure he will be remembering his parents and anticipating the moments to return to you in another world and another time.

I am writing this with tears in my eyes. Reminiscing the loss that I have experienced and imagining what you're experiencing right now.

The agony and pain will eventually pass, leaving behind a dull ache everytime our memories go down that lane. Take care and recuperate soon. Your friends will always be here for you.

New Day

by Chi-Chi Phiona Osai

I cannot feel the pain you bear,
Nor the emptiness that comes with losing someone dear,
I do not know how many times you have wept,
How many dreamless nights you have slept,
I see, though, that you are in mourning,
Of a cherished soul that left before the day’s dawning,

My dear heart, I weep too,
In my prayers, I place you.

He hasn’t fully passed away,
Believe me, he’s with you everyday,
As long as he’s your treasured stone,
His love will comfort you when in pain you groan,
He takes every step you take,
Though his reflection may not appear on the face of a lake,
Like true soul mates you are,
He’ll be your guiding star.

Don’t you worry, he didn’t sleep alone,
The angels were there to guard their own,
That is why you should smile,
With your fate, you should reconcile,
Maybe his departure is a sign,
Maybe he is your passing angel, your future vine,
Bleed no more, you will be blessed,
You will be seen through this difficult test.

Gold fish & Arowana

2005-03-28T14:54:00.001+08:00

It's been quite a while since my last entry. I have been quite busy with life and work lately. Guess what? I have an aquarium at home right now! Frankly, I'm not really into pets. I dun have any interests or disinterests in them. This is the first time that I have fishes as pet. My husband is a fish lover. As pets and in his meals as well. Ha Ha , i guess he just loves fish. Probably because he's born under the Aquarius sign. So now we have 5 gold fish *blobb *blobb and 1 arowana fish. Ikan kelisa la tu. A pearl arowana.. So cute, it is only about 10 cm long. But that's good enuff. Bigger arowana means big bucks, up to thousands. So hopefully, we can take care of our arowana until it is big enough and sell it for RM20,000. Ha ha talk about making money.

One thing I'm concern about is who's going to wash the 3-feet aquarium every month with all the little droppings the fish left behind? He he...leave that to my hubby of course. I didn't know anything about fishes in the first place. Only that it will make a great meal. Those edible one of course. But it is really fascinating to watch them swim freely without a care in the world and no predators also. Another great thing is , it is a huge distraction for my hubby. He wouldn't mind passing the TV remote control to me as he's busy watching the fishes. Eheh talk about heaven.. I have the TV all to myself....

2005-03-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

No Problems, No Worries, No Troubles, No Fears - No Life?

Late To Work Today

2005-03-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

I woke up with a headache this morning. Dragged myself out of bed, went to the living room and lie down on the sofa. Luckily Aqus took a ride with a friend to his office and I will drive to mine. I woke up from my sofa slumber at 8.05am, showered and get dressed. Suppose to be at office by 8.30am.
I arrived at the office at 8.45 am and Guess What?? Out of all days, the HR decided to take late staff attendance TODAY. Arrghh as if my headache is not enough.
It is kinda ironic when you're early everyday (usually I arrived at the office by 8.00am), and nobody is there to check on the attendance. This one day you're late and the whole HR Department is there at the lobby to take ur name. Oh well, that's the only thing they are efficient in, anyway.
Frankly, I couldn't care less about getting my name taken. There were dozens of names in the lists. Looks like everyone is late today.
They can give us show cause letters for being late, if only the staff could give HR show cause letters, there will be dozens of them for being incompetent in so many perspectives.
It is a sad thing when company punishes you for being late but did they ever reward your work, or even appreciate you staying back?

I guess to punish is a lot easier than to appreciate.

Mind Your Own Business & Leave Me Alone!!

2005-03-22T15:32:00.000+08:00

I get irritated with people who likes to comment on my appearance and especially on my weight. They will stop by at my cubicle and start saying things like " I noticed you have put on a lot of weight" or " Why is your face so chubby?" and stuff like that. It's like suddenly I have a pemerhati team who has no work but to comment on how I look or how much I weigh. It has always been like that since ages. When I don't go out to lunch, they will assume I'm on diet. When I lost weight, they appear concern whether I'm ill (or plain jealousy perhaps?). When I gain weight, they ask dozens of questions. I feel like telling them to buzz off and mind your own business. The irony part is that those who asked on my weight aren't supermodel sizes either. No, correction. They can't even pass as medium sized. So, why bother me? My family doesn't care if I am fat. My husband loves me the same. Sometimes i feel they just like to make me feel bad or as if i didn't notice myself that I no longer fit in my old clothes.
But do they stop to ask why? Or what is the possible explanation behind my weight gain or whatever it is? Do they know that I don't pig out on food and that I almost everyday skip lunch after I ate my breakfast? Or that I CANNOT GO ON A DIET?? I can always lose the weight anytime and be a babe-licious lady any time i want, but i don't want the risk of taking all the extra effective pills but lose my chance on having a child.
Of course this things don't matter to these people. Sometimes I wish I can just lash out to these people and shoved their words back in their nosy throats.

I almost feel like telling them the following but I am the type to swallow these words and keep it all inside.

- Kalau aku gemuk pun, bukannya aku makan nasik kat rumah ngko, so beras ko tak habis pun
- Kalau aku gemuk , ko ke yang sakit??
- Ko nie tanya banyak-banyak, jeles ke? Aku tau kau nak jadi mcam aku
- Bini/ laki ko tak kasik ke semalam (har har)
-Siapa upah ko tanya aku banyak-banyak macam polis nie?
-Sejak bila kau keje part-time jadi paparazzi?
-Kalau aku gemuk, kau tak dapat gaji bulan nie ker?
-Sejak bila aku hire kau jadi personal consultant aku nih?
- Aku bersyukur ngan nikmat Tuhan beri, gemuk ke bulat ke, comel ker, itu rezeki DIA pada aku, esok lusa dia tarik nikmat tu dari ngko jangan nyesal la.Belajar bersyukur dari skarang.

"I am beautiful no matter what the say, words can't bring me down"

-Superficial world, superficial human-

Happy 24th Birthday To Azah

2005-03-18T08:32:00.000+08:00

Happy 24th Birthday to My Sis Azah a.k.a Cikopek. May You Have All The Best Things In Life

I Am Constipated

2005-03-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

I have been experiencing constipation this past few days. I find it difficult to pass motion lately. Not like the usual 'easy' going me. What could be the reason? I've been drinking galloons of water in the office, had not much protein, haven't been taking MILO or chocolates ( they say cocoa can make your stool hard) and I take two heap of table spoonful of lecitihin granules every day. Still this few days my bowel is giving me a hard time. Read from this article on the possible causes of constipation http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/constipation/:

not enough fiber in the diet ( i take vege often, cannot be)
not enough liquids (ermm, i'm practically bloated from all the water i consume)
lack of exercise ( once a while go gym not enuff aa?)
medications (i'm not on any medication)
irritable bowel syndrome (i don't have IBS, i think so)
changes in life or routine such as pregnancy, older age, and travel (pregnancy? ermm unlikely; older age ? hey, I'm only 27 err going 28; travel? hardly)
abuse of laxatives (hardly take them except Teh Orang Kampung once in a while)
ignoring the urge to have a bowel movement (haiyaa? can ignore meh when nature calls?)
specific diseases such as stroke (very unlikely)
problems with the colon and rectum (so far my colon and rectum are A-OK)
problems with intestinal function (chronic idiopathic constipation) (hope not. that sounds chronic)

You know, Constipation can really make you feel sluggish, tired and bloated. Somehow it made me agitated too..Now I dragged my feet out of the bed every morning. It felt like I only slept for 1 hour when I have slept for 6 hours. Can relate this to constipation aaa?

*sigh. Hope this condition well get better soon. I'll be okay when all the toxin in my tummy is flushed out. Don't ask me to go see any gomen specialist. I haven't even gotten my blood test results from the previous pharyngitis infection. If it was a chronic infection, I would have been a goner by now.

If things aren't getting better, maybe I'll take laxative like Brooklax or something. But for the time being, I'll just have to "hang-on" with it. Get what I mean? Here's some joke to cheer up everybody and also my constipated tummy. Hopefully it finds the joke so sick, and will give way for a "passing motion" session. Ha ha.

1.Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. (Eeeww..)

2.Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? 'Cause they don't give a crap! (Crappy, huh?)

3. A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags!" (That's a good one, especially to those who pratice wiping instead of washing)

4.Did you hear about the new movie ''Constipation?'' It hasn't come out yet (Ha ha..stuck somewhere?)

5."Constipation is the thief of time but Diarrhoea waits for no man! (Whose line was it, anway?)

6.Woman - ‘My husband has alcoholic constipation’

Friend - ‘What sort of medical complaint is that?’

Woman - ‘He can’t pass a pub’

(I guess women like us has "window shopping constipation" - we can't pass a mall..ahahha)

7.A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm going to give you some suppositories. I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you another one for later this evening."

Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository. She agrees reluctantly, then puts one hand on his shoulder and inserts the suppository.

Suddenly, her husband shrieks, "Aahhhhh!" "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asks. "No... I just realised that the doctor had *both* his hands on my shoulders!" (The doc's a freak..ewww)

That's all folks. Hope you're not too disgusted by the jokes. Take Care.

New Blog Looks

2005-03-15T15:08:00.000+08:00

I did something to my previous blog and everything was topsy turvy. Ahaha..now i got to change the skin and everything. Got few things to change here and there. Will do that later. Cya guys around..

Mario Drops Out Of American Idol?

2005-03-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

I am so sad and utterly speechless today when Farah broke me the news.... Uwaaa...Mario Vasquez drops out of American Idol? How can he do that? Eh..sure him or not...Maybe it's Constantine or Scott? Not my Mario.. He's my favourite 4 finalists and now he's dropping out. Seriously I think he can win the competition. He's got the whole package..looks, vocal, charm and that oh so sweet smile *sigh. As if today being Monday is not enough to make me *blue*. I will be *blue* for the whole week. How dare you make me *blue*. Only Mondays can make me *blue*. Now it's Monday and Mario. And I will be remembering Mario everytime I see the others performed on American Idol. Well, at least my final 3, Anwar, Carrie and Vonzell are still around. They better not drop out. It is also a blessing for Nikko Smith.He will be replacing Mario in the top 12. Lady Luck is smiling on him. He's got a good vokal but he's not Mario...*sob *sob.

Maybe Mario got a recording contract. Or his mom is sick. Or he struck the lottery and got rich. Or he's got a terminal disease. Or he knocked his head and got amnesia and couldn't remember any note. Or he got married. Whatever the reasons are, he's not telling. I wish him all the best in his future undertakings. There will be one *blue* Azalea for this whole American Idol season.Along with his other fans of course,..

From this competition they say you're going
I will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are taking the sunshine
That has brighten Azalea's path a while

Goodbye dear Mario...I will be missing you.........

Selamat Pagi Duhai Mentari

2005-03-14T13:02:00.000+08:00

Selamat Pagi Sang Mentari
Di Celahan Tingkap Terbias Sinaran
Kehadiran Mengejutkan Insan
Yang Sedang Enak Diulit Mimpi
Untuk Bangun Dan Meneruskan Perjuangan
Menyedarkan Umat Yang Lena
Akan Watak Dan Peranan Mereka
Di Dunia Yang Fana Ini

Biarkan Aku Lena Wahai Mentari
Meniti Malam Demi Malam
Berada Dalam Pelukan Kekelaman
Agar Bisa Fikiran Ku Tenang
Dan Jiwaku Kosong
Dari Segala Kebingitan Duniawi
Yang Mengundang Resah
Pastinya Menambah Derita

Selamat Petang Duhai Awan
Betapa Ku Menanti Kau Di Sisi
Bersama Bayu Mendamaikan Jiwa
Bisikanmu Mesra Menggamit Daku
Di Saat Keresahanku Kian Memuncak
Konflik Dunia Menyesakkan Nafasku
"Pulanglah" Sapamu Penuh Kelembutan
"Tinggalkan Beban Mu Buat Seketika"

Gamitan Senja Ku Sambut Ria
Kerana Ku Tahu Di Saat Itu
Malam Bakal Menjelma
Membawa Daku Bersama
Meniti Keindahan Kegelapan Itu
Biarlah Mataku Tidak Bisa Melihat
Atau Telinga Tidak Bisa Mendengar
Asal Aku Tidak Lagi Dalam Gundah Gulana
Menjadi Watak Dunia Materialistik

Izinkan Jiwa Dan Benakku Kosong
Dan Hanya Ada Aku Dan Malam
Pergilah Jauh Sang Mentari
Jangan Datang Menjenguk Diri
Kerana Di Saat Ini Hanya Ada
Aku Dan Malam
Dan Sesungguhnya

Aku Adalah Malam
Dan Malam Itu Aku.........

Nukilan : AZALEA

(Sebenarnya Kes Malas Nak Kerja Pagi Isnin..Haha..Monday Blues)

Which MARVEL Superheroine Are You

2005-03-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

Yo! I am EMMA FROST..errr whos dat?

Which MARVEL Superheroine Are You?

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/emmafrost.jpg

Going For Pap Smear Soon

2005-03-08T11:57:00.000+08:00

It is already March 2005. Time seems to fly by swiftly. A few of my office mates are expecting their babies soon. Most of them in less than 6 months time. I am so happy for them. Seems like the Rooster year is a productive year for having babies. As for me and some of my friends who are still hoping to conceive, we must keep the hopes alive and believe the best will happen. I plan to get pregnant in April, which will end my 6 months waiting period, hopefully. My gynae requested me to wait for 6 months to avoid further complications. Even that, I am worried sick that this time around, I will face complications again but I guess after losing my pregnancy twice, I became a lot stronger and InsyaALLAH will brace myself. As much as I fear for the worst, nevertheless I am willing to take the risk and try again. I wanted to go on a diet and lose some weight but the doctor was against any dieting since my body is depleting in nutrient. Thanx to my years of dieting before, now the result of my actions is visible. So, I'll just have to continue eating normally and go to the gym now and then during the weekends. I can't hardly wait for April to come by but before that I have to go for pap smear and also blood test to check my HCG level (the last time I checked it was 11) to check for any uterus abnormality ( I hope there's none) . Here's some facts and information on pap smear. Thanx to www.4woman.gov/faq/pap.htm

What is a Pap test?
The Pap test (also called a Pap smear) checks for changes in the cells of your cervix. The cervix is the lower part of the uterus (womb) that opens into the vagina (birth canal). The Pap test can tell if you have an infection, abnormal (unhealthy) cells, or cancer.

Why do I need a Pap test?
A Pap test can save your life. It can find cancer of the cervix - a common cancer in women - before it moves to other parts of your body (becomes invasive). If caught early, treatment for cancer of the cervix can be easier and the chances of curing it are far greater. Pap tests can also pick up infections and inflammation, and abnormal cells that can change into cancer cells.

Do all women need Pap tests?
It is important for all women to make pap tests, along with pelvic exams, a part of their routine health care. You need to have a Pap test if you are over 18 years old. If you are under 18 years old and are or have been sexually active, you also need a Pap test. There is no age limit for the Pap test. Even women who have gone through menopause (the change of life, or when a woman's periods stop) need to get Pap tests.

How often do I need to get a Pap test?
Many health care providers tell women to get a Pap test every year. But, your health care provider may recommend a Pap test every 1 to 3 years after you have had 3 normal Pap tests for 3 years in a row. Talk with your health care provider about what is best for you.
Is there anything special I need to do before going for a Pap test?

For two days before the test, you should not douche or use vaginal creams, suppositories, foams or vaginal medications (like for a yeast infection). It is also best to not use any vaginal deodorant sprays or powders for two days before your test. And, do not have sexual intercourse within 24 hours of your test. All of these can cause inaccurate test results by washing away or hiding abnormal cells. You should not have a Pap test when you have your period. The best time to have one is between 10 and 20 days after the first day of your last period.

How is a Pap test done?
Your health care provider can do a Pap test during a pelvic exam. It is a quick test that takes only a few minutes. You will be asked to lie down on an exam table and put your feet in holders called stirrups, letting your knees fall to the side. A sheet will cover your legs and stomach. The health care provider will put an instrument called a speculum into your vagina, opening it to see the cervix and to do the Pap test. She or he will use a special stick, brush or swab to take a few cells from inside and around the cervix. The cells are placed on a small glass slide, then checked by a lab to make sure they are healthy. While painless for most women, a Pap test can cause discomfort for some women.

What happens after the Pap test is done?
If the cells are okay, no treatment is needed. If an infection is present, treatment is prescribed. If the cells look abnormal, or not healthy, more tests may be needed. A Pap test is not 100% right all the time, so it is always important to talk to your health care provider about your results.

What do abnormal Pap test results mean?
A health care provider may tell you that your Pap test result was "abnormal." Cells from the cervix can sometimes look abnormal but this does not mean you have cancer. Remember, abnormal conditions do not always turn into cancer. And, some conditions are more likely than are others to turn into cancer. If you have abnormal results, be sure to talk with your health care provider to find out what they mean and what you need to do (if anything) about it.
What will happen if my Pap test finds something that is not normal?

If the Pap test shows something confusing or a minor change in the cells of the cervix, the test may be done again. If the test shows a major change in the cells of the cervix, the health care provider may perform a colposcopy. This is a procedure done in an office or clinic with an instrument (called a colposcope) that acts like a microscope, allowing the health care provider to closely see the vagina and the cervix. Your health care provider may also take a small amount of tissue from the cervix (called a biopsy) to examine for any abnormal cells, which can be a sign of cancer.

What increases a woman's risk for cancer of the cervix?
Any woman can get cancer of the cervix. But, the chances of getting cancer of the cervix increase when a woman (which I am negative for all) :
Starts having sex before age 18.
Has many sexual partners.
Has sexual partners who have other sexual partners.
Has or has had humanpapilloma virus (HPV) or genital warts.
Has or has had a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Is over the age of 60.
Smokes.

The Oracle Has Spoken

2005-03-04T12:38:00.000+08:00

I am at the point of deciding 5 Main Issues In My Life:

1. Apply for a new job
2. Apply for VSS (Voluntary Separation Scheme)
3. Go for a vacation
4. Set up my own business (wedding hantaran, florist & bunga telur)
5. Have children.

And this is the outcome. Basically what the test do is intrepret what I keyed in earlier.

The Oracle Advises...

have children

Ask the Oracle a Question

choices mind gut heart Total
have children [10] [10] [10] 30
setting up own business [10] [10] 9 29
applying for VSS 7 [10] [10] 27
getting a new job [10] [10] 7 27
going for a vacation 6 [10] 9 25

Ermm..full marks on the gut..I guess I follow my gut a lot...Hey I got guts man!!!
By the way, maybe I should proceed with having children. Frankly, I still fear my previous experiences with pregnancy (once miscarried, once ectopic baby), I guess it's about time to have children. I think both me and hubby are prepared. We can try and leave the rest to God. At the bottom of my heart, apart from work conflicts and need to go for a retreat, I know that having a child is my PRIORITY at the moment. So, pray with me on this and wish me luck this time around. I need all the prayers and luck I can get from everyone......

The Jung & Enneagram Test Results

2005-03-03T14:23:00.000+08:00

Jung Test Results

Introverted (I) 53.85% Extroverted (E) 46.15%
Sensing (S) 51.28% Intuitive (N) 48.72%
Feeling (F) 56.52% Thinking (T) 43.48%
Judging (J) 68.57% Perceiving (P) 31.43%

ISFJ

"Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Main type	Variant

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Enneagram Test Results

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	86%
Type 2	Helpfulness	76%
Type 3	Image Awareness	70%
Type 4	Sensitivity	33%
Type 5	Detachment	66%
Type 6	Anxiety	66%
Type 7	Adventurousness	46%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	43%
Type 9	Calmness	80%

Your main type is 1
Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Too Tired For Writing Or Talking

2005-03-03T12:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sleep walking today. Too tired from yesterday's department meeting which lasted until 10pm. I'm too tired to write or talk. I didn't even get to watch CSI yesterday. Too tired to wait for the rerun at 1.00 am. I feel unrejuvenated from yesterday's sleep and my energy level is barely 50%.

Just doing some personality tests today. Caza, I cilok this from your blog. Very cool tests available in this website. Hope you don't mind.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		46%
Stability		43%
Orderliness		76%
Empathy		50%
Interdependence		43%
Intellectual		83%
Mystical		63%
Artistic		90%
Religious		90%
Hedonism		10%
Materialism		63%
Narcissism		56%
Adventurousness		56%
Work ethic		70%
Self absorbed		76%
Conflict seeking		63%
Need to dominate		43%

Romantic		70%
Avoidant		30%
Anti-authority		70%
Wealth		36%
Dependency		43%
Change averse		43%
Cautiousness		56%
Individuality		56%
Sexuality		76%
Peter pan complex		23%
Physical security		56%
Food indulgent		83%
Histrionic		43%
Paranoia		43%
Vanity		43%
Hypersensitivity		63%
Female cliche		83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

TRAIT SNAPSHOT:
clean, organized, dislikes chaos, semi neat freak, perfectionist, traditional, realist, fits in most places, enjoys managing others, risk averse, good at saving money, prudent, respects authority, high self control, hard working, does not like to stand out, follows the rules, finisher, resilient, takes precautions, cautious, honest, unfamiliar with the dark side of life, practical, dutiful

LOWEST POINT : HEDONISM 10%

As you can see from the test my hedonism is only 10%. This simply means i'm not pleasure- seeking, high-living, extravagant or stuff like that. Well, I guess that's right, I dun really go for the fame or glory. I'm happy if I can just live by another day not as long as I don't have to worry about getting a roof on my head or food to satisfy my tummy. I didn't come from a rich family, infact we were very average but manage to get through life and education. I like being average.

HIGHEST POINTS: ARTISTIC & RELIGIOUS 90%

That is a relief actually .At least I know where my stand is. I believe so. About artistic, I'm not into paintings, music or stuff like that, but I like handicrafts a lot. Things that you can create with your own hands. I'm beginning to get serious in handicrafts since it is a great stress relief especially when you're having a bad day in the office, it would be a great retreat to do something you enjoy at home.

2005-03-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

Garfield - An Urban Legend?

Urband Legends & American Idol

2005-03-02T12:03:00.000+08:00

I missed the American Idol show at 8.00pm last night since I had to pick up my hubby in Kelana Park View at 6.30pm and we had dinner outside. By the time we got back home it was around 8.15pm. I have this habit of not watching a show halfway because I won’t enjoy it half as much as watching from the start. So, I decided to watch the 11.30pm show instead.
While waiting for the show to be on air again, we watched the Discovery Channel on Astro channel 50. It was a documentary on Most True Stories: Urban Legends. It fascinates me to watch interesting documentaries that provokes your mind and tells of something-out-of this world stories. Americans have this Urban Legends which they passed down generations t- generations. Some are logical and can be accepted but some are so bizarre that you wonder whether they were possible or just a product of an imaginative mind. So, yesterday I managed to watch 2 urban legends ( didn’t finish until the end since it was time for American Idol, heh heh ). The 2 urban legends were:

Urban Legend No. 1
Rapist who pretend to be policemen and stop victims especially female driving alone in the middle of the night. They do this by pretending to check on the car or whether the victim was drunk and checking the breath on the breath analyzer. Even if the victims insist they were not drunk, they were forced to abandon their car and follow the guy in the patrol car. This rapist will then take his victim to a lonely, remote road, raped them and left them by the side of the road.
My verdict: This urban legend is possible since citizens have always been intimidated by authorities in uniforms. Criminals can take advantage of this situation. We can ask them to flash their ID but how to tell fake IDs from the original ones? How many of us has actually seen an original police ID?

Urban Legend No. 2
An overweight woman who wants to lose weight saw this TV advertisement on weight lost pills for only US$19.95. Thinking that she had nothing to lose since it was cheap, she bought the pills and when it arrived the next day, was surprised to see there’s only one capsule. She swallowed it down and weight herself few days later and was surprised to see she lost weight. She continued to lose weight days after that even when she ate a lot. She constantly feels hungry and forever bingeing on food but still she loses more weight. One day she woke up from bed and found her nose bleeding. She jumped out of bed and saw a lying tape worm on her bed…Ewwwww! It seems that the capsule she swallowed contains tape worms and they breed in her body and intestines and became parasite. That’s why she keeps losing weight because she’s been feeding food to the tape worms until the multiply in her body.
My verdict: As bizarre as it sounds, I dun think you want to lose weight by having tape worms in your body. It can definitely infest your body and make you feel sick and probably make you lose weight, but the illness that comes after that is worse. It can even go to your brains and other parts of the body. Ermm…scary, I’d rather exercise and eat wisely rather than taking the easy way and let the worms do all the work. I mean, it’s easy to consume them, but how do you remove them once they’re in? If there’s too many of them, like in thousands, I dun think that Zentel would work.

Oh well, I had to leave Discovery since it was time to watch American Idol. As I expected, the guys performed extremely well this week. It’s amazing to hear Simon praising almost everybody and even apologizing for his harshness to one contestant on the previous round. Ermm… maybe he’s not so vocal after all. I’m putting my hopes on Mario and Anwar as usual but I’m setting my eyes on Bo Bice. Randy called him Da Bomb last night. The truth, I think he deserved it, he was good. Real good.